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But okay, at least now I know what was real. I fell. Nobody pushed me. Nobody hit me. And yeah, that means my brain’s all twisted up, and why? I have no fucking clue.
“Blanked out? Why?” Manon this time, sounding worried and a little scared.
Son of a bitch. Don’t wanna talk about this, not now. Not in front of Cassie. I glare at my reflection in the car window as darkness falls outside and consider jumping out of the moving car.
That’d be a mercy for everyone.
“Manon, sweetheart,” Seth mutters. “Grab me a candy bar from the glove box, will you?”
I look up in time to see him waggle his brows at her. She laughs, bending forward to do as he asks.
Distracting her. I meet his eyes in the rearview mirror and nod briefly in thanks. He nods back.
Tighter than brothers, that’s us.
Which is why I wonder if he’ll ever forgive me for punching him and leaving him when he needed my help the most. If he can forgive me for fucking up so badly. I’ll never forget Manon and Zane telling me he was gone, or finding him on the street later, half-frozen and hurt. He thought we’d all abandoned him.
That I’d abandoned him. As if I ever would.
Cassie is shooting me sideways glances, sitting stiffly, probably trying not to touch me and at the same time figure out what the hell is going on with me. With her blond hair in a long ponytail, her blue eyes outlined in black, and those soft lips, her white sweater hanging off one rounded shoulder, she’s…
Too beautiful for the likes of me.
Also too perfect, too popular, too out of my league in each and every fucking way.
My head’s killing me, and I press my forehead to the cold glass, closing my eyes. God, I can’t wait for this day from hell to be over.
***
The slam of a car door closing drags me back from a pit of writhing faces and arms, open mouths dripping blood.
Taking a second to compose my face and catch my breath, I unglue my cheek from the car window and take stock of the situation.
We’re parked outside my building. The neon sign of D’Angelo’s pizzeria is burning a brand in my retinas. Blinded, I look away only to find Cassie climbing out of the car. Seth and Manon are already out.
Where’s everyone going?
Wincing, I straighten in the car seat, and right on time, too, as my door is wrenched open and cold air hits me.
Can’t hide a flinch, but it’s Seth standing there, so it’s okay. He leans inside, tugs on my arm.
“Come on, buddy. Let’s get you upstairs.”
I want to tell him to go suck it, to leave me the hell alone. It’s warm and cozy inside the car, and the bruised muscles in my back complain with every movement.
But instead I take his hand and let him haul me out into the night and the bitter wind blowing down the avenue. Pain hits as I straighten, radiating down my back. Tomorrow I’ll be black and blue from my encounter with the hard, iced-over ground. The blanket still wrapped around me is drenched and heavy, and I think I’ll shiver my skin off as Seth drags me toward the entrance.
He pats my pockets for the keys, and I let him, concentrating on containing the pain slicing through me, made worse by the cold.
Seth throws the keys to Manon who unlocks the door. Cassie holds it open for us while Manon gets the lights, and Seth hauls me inside.
You’d think I broke my fucking legs. I’m shivering so hard I can hardly walk. But Seth isn’t fazed. He’s seen me worse. He pulls me along with an arm around my shoulders, up the stairs, the girls preceding us.
“Manon’s ordering some pizza for us,” Seth’s saying as we get up the steps, one by one. “From D’Angelo’s downstairs. That one you like, with anchovies and extra chilies. And garlic bread.”
I let him talk, barely paying attention, his familiar voice soothing.
It’s like going back in time to when we were kids. Seth always was the older brother, the one taking care of me, although we were born just a few days apart. I was the loud and chatty one, and he was always serious. He was the one who was careful and took care of me when I fell and busted my knees or fought with other kids.
