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With those words, she walks out of the room, leaving me with creased eyebrows. A moment ago, she was all clingy and on the brink of tears. Now, she’s walking out on me.
I sigh. I may have found a way to cure tumors many doctors deem inoperable, but I doubt I’ll ever be able to figure women out.
What am I going to do with them?
~
“What did you do to Ellis Smithson?” Tom asks me as he grips his golf club and prepares to hit the ball.
I swing mine and the ball flies towards the horizon and out of sight.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…” Tom makes a practice swing. “That she was almost crying back there in the supply room.”
“Well, you know interns. They’re babies. They cry a lot.”
He swings his club. “Not Smithson. She was with me in the pit on her second day when we had a lot of patients from a bus and car collision. I’ve been watching her ever since. She’s tough.”
“Oh. Is that why you were taking her side?” I grab another golf ball and put it on the tee. “Because she’s the new Chief’s pet?”
Tom shakes his head. “All I’m saying is that it’s strange that she started messing up on the day you came back.”
“Maybe she gets uncomfortable around neurosurgeons,” I say as I prepare to take another swing.
“She was fine with Dr. Royce. He had only good things to say about her.”
“Then maybe she gets uncomfortable around highly successful, good-looking neurosurgeons.”
I swing. As before, the ball curves over the horizon and flies into the unknown.
Tom snorts.
I look at him. “What?”
“Just tell me if you slept with her,” Tom says.
“Why would you think that?”
“Because Smithson isn’t the type to be clinging to a man. If she is, you must have given her something.”
I place my hand on my hip. “Wow. You know her so well, don’t you?”
“I like to know my employees as well as I can,” he says proudly.
I know he does. He’s good with people, which is one of the reasons I chose him to be the Chief of the hospital, that and the fact that I’ve known him for more than fifteen years.
“You know who else I know?” he goes on. “You. I know that she happens to be your type, Rainier.”
I pick up another golf ball. “Since when do I have a type?”
“Carol. Melanie. Angie,” Tom enumerates. “They all had blue eyes.”
“Angie had grey eyes,” I correct him as I hoist the ball onto the tee.
“At least four of the women I’ve seen you with wear glasses,” he adds.
He’s got me there. Well, it’s not the glasses I like per se. It’s the difference I see when they’re off.
“Also, you like women who are younger than you, don’t you?”
I frown. “Quit making me sound like a criminal.”
“Did you sleep with her, Rainier?” Tom asks directly.
I hit the ball. “Fine. I did.”
Why am I even hiding it from him?
Tom sighs.
“I didn’t know she was an intern, okay?” I tell him. “And now that I do, I’ve told her to forget what happened between us.”
“Which is why she was upset.”
I reach for my water bottle. “She’ll get over it.”
Tom shakes his head slowly. “I don’t know if you’ve seen Smithson with patients, but she has a big heart. She takes them under her wing and treats them like family. She’s kind, but she takes things seriously. She’s hard on herself.”
“So you’re saying she won’t get over it? I thought you said she’s tough.”
“I’m saying you should keep your hands off her from now on,” Tom tells me.
I roll my eyes. “God, you sound like her father.”
“Rainier…”
I lift my hands. “That’s the plan, Tom.”
Tom points a finger at me. “Stick to it.”
I give him a mock salute. “Yes, sir.”
The first time was a mistake. It won’t happen again. I won’t even think about it. Or her. I’m going to forget about her starting now.
~
Well, I tried. But forgetting isn’t simple, unless you have Alzheimer’s. As a brain surgeon, I know that for a fact. Once the brain has made certain connections, they can’t be easily undone. Once the brain stores a memory, it’s there for life. Sometimes it gets dulled or buried under other memories, but it’s still there.
Besides, it’s hard to forget someone when you see her every day.
Ellis may not be working on my service but I still see her around – in the pit, in radiology, in the cafeteria, in the lobby, in the corridors. Each time our eyes meet, she turns serious. The smile on her lips vanishes and her features tense as she averts her gaze. I can almost hear her holding her breath as she walks by me. When she doesn’t know I’m there, though, I can catch her laughing with a patient. I’ve seen her working hard in the ER. I’ve seen her holding her own under pressure in the OR.
