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“Exactly. You didn’t do anything. You just let her go.” He taps his fingers on my desk. “I thought you cared about her, Rain.”

“I did.” The admission comes more easily to me than I expected. “But she doesn’t need me. She said so herself. She has her family now, and they’re even richer than I am.”

“Oh, come on. She was never after your money.”

“What was she after then, huh?” I ask. “You knew her well, didn’t you? So tell me. What was a woman like her doing with a guy like me?”

“Frankly, I don’t know what she saw in you,” Tom answers. “But I know that she always tried to see the best in everyone, so she probably saw something good, something maybe even you couldn’t see.”

I shrug. “Well, whatever it was, she stopped seeing it.”

Tom gives me a look of dismay.

“What?” I ask him.

“Just that all these years, I’ve seen women throw themselves at you. You could have kept any of them but you didn’t want to. And now the one woman I was hoping you’d keep, you throw away.”

I narrow my eyes at him. Was he actually hoping that Ellis and I would end up together in spite of everything he said?

“I didn’t throw her away,” I point out.

Tom shrugs. “All I know is she’s not here and you are.”

“Because she sent me away.”

He snorts.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He stands up. “You know, I was going to invite you to come to my house for Christmas because my sister and her family’s in town, but never mind.”

“I wouldn’t be able to go anyway,” I tell him. “I’m planning on working on Christmas.”

“Ha. Someone’s being a Scrooge this year.”

I ignore him.

He heads to the door, then glances back at my desk. “Then again, with all those papers to catch up on, I don’t think you have a choice.”

He leaves my office. I let out a sigh before picking up the piece of paper again.

I guess I’m not looking forward to Christmas again this year.

~

“What are you doing for Christmas this year, Dr. Knight?” the elderly woman on the hospital bed, Edith Brenner, asks me as I check on her vitals during rounds.

“Work,” I answer as I shine a penlight into her eyes. “Taking care of patients like you.”

Edith frowns. “Oh, surely, there’s someone else you’d rather be with.”

I put the device back in my pocket. Usually, I don’t hold conversations with patients about anything other than their health. Usually, this is the time when I walk away with an excuse that I have other work to do, but right now, even though I do have other work to do, I feel like staying a little longer and talking. Maybe it’s because I was cooped up in the office all day yesterday.

“Actually, I can think of one,” I say.

Even with all the paperwork I’m burying myself under, I still can’t stop thinking of her.

“But she’s not here.”

“Well, then go to her,” Edith says. “Isn’t that what you do at Christmas? Go be with the ones who are special to you? It only happens once a year, after all. You ought to spend it with whoever you want to spend it with.”

I sigh. “Maybe you’re right, but I’m not sure she wants to spend it with me.”

“Did you ask?”

I pause. “No.”

I didn’t have a chance to.

“And what makes you think she doesn’t want to spend Christmas with you? I know if I were her, I’d want to spend Christmas with a man like you.”

I chuckle. “Well, she sort of sent me away.”

“Sort of?”

“She said she didn’t need me.”

I don’t know why I’m confiding in a patient I’ve only just met, but the words seem to be coming out of my mouth freely.

“But do you love her?” Edith asks.

Ah, this question again. This time, though, I answer.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Edith laughs.

“I specialize in the brain,” I tell her. “Not the heart.”

“You’re a doctor. Surely, you know about love. Isn’t that why you’re here? Because you love your job? Isn’t that why you do your best for your patients?”

I shrug. “I thought it’s because I’m getting paid.”

Edith grins. “Oh, I know you’re getting paid, but you can’t fool me, Dr. Knight. I can tell you have a good heart. You care for your patients. You want them to live, to be happy.”

My eyebrows furrow. Do I?

“This woman, do you want her to be happy?” Edith asks me. “And does she make you happy? Does she give you a reason to live?”

I pause to think. “Yes.”

Edith grins. “Then you love her. And I’m quite sure she loves you even if she may not need you.”

I give her a puzzled look. “How would you know?”

She shrugs. “Maybe I don’t really know. Maybe I just believe it. Sometimes, that’s enough, especially this time of year.”

“Are you saying I should go to her even if there’s no guarantee she won’t turn me away again?”

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