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Shit.
He seems to realize, too, and he glances up at my face, brows drawing together. “Oh fuck. Tell me you’re on the pill.”
“I am.” It’s the truth. “And I’m clean.”
The question hangs in the air between us. What about you?
“I’m clean, too.” He sighs and flops on his back. “Got tested this week. I wanted to ditch the condoms, but hadn’t thought to do it so soon.”
My heart trips. “Ditch them?”
All possible reasons flash through my mind and my heart is hammering.
He turns his head toward me. “I’m only fucking you, babe. No other girl.”
?
??But you said…”
“No feelings. No relationship.” He puts a hand down, searching for mine. Clasps it. “But sex… yeah, I want that with you. For as long as this lasts.”
“Me too,” I hear myself saying as if from a distance, and oh God… What am I doing?
Chapter Five
“So, your man, he’s hot.” Dorothy is chewing on a chocolate cookie and pretending to be studying. She’s got her laptop open and her notebook, but she’s watching music videos instead. “Not like the guys asking me out.”
“Hawk?”
“That’s the one. Was there another? When are you seeing him again?”
I press my lips together and pretend, in my turn, to be engrossed in the statistics book I’m supposed to be reading.
“Laylay.”
“Hm?”
“Hasn’t he called you since last week?”
Actually, it’s been ten days. I did text him once, a few days ago, but he didn’t reply. I’m totally out of my element here. No clue what I’m supposed to do. After all, we’re not together. Although we’ve been meeting for three months now, in hotels and places owned by friends of his, I can’t demand to see him. Don’t even dare ask what he’s doing when he’s not with me.
He said he’s not sleeping with other girls, and I have to trust him. Checking the internet every day isn’t healthy.
I do it, of course. Haven’t found any incriminating evidence, though. No pics of him with girls, no gossip.
That means nothing, of course, since there’s no evidence about him being with me, either.
Which leads me to question my sanity for letting him inside me without a condom every time. I just… want him. Like crazy.
Stupid, Layla.
Then again… he’s taking a risk with me, too. And I doubt he stalks me on the internet, like I am doing. Like I’ve been refusing to do this past week.
No more stalking for me.
“Layla. Is everything okay?” Dorothy is staring at me.
Whoops. “Yeah, sorry. No, he hasn’t called me.”
