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Your turn, Aster.
Chapter Five ~ I Owe It To Him
Aster
“What should I do, Mom?”
I ask the question in the silence and shadows of the living room as I run my fingers over the faded wedding picture of my mom and dad.
I thought my dad didn’t have any dreams left. After my mom died, he stopped working and I never once heard him wish he could go back. On the contrary, he kept saying how taking care of me was the best job he could ever ask for. He never went on any dates. He said he had already found the love of his life once and hoping to find it a second time was just asking for trouble. Also, he said he had me and that I was more than enough.
He never wished for wealth even during the times that he struggled to pay the bills. He had seen enough of the world that he didn’t want to travel anywhere. Every year, I struggled to choose gifts for his birthday and Christmas because there was nothing he seemed to want. He said there was nothing more he could want than to see me happy. I thought that just meant me growing up, finishing school and getting a job that I liked. Now, I realize it means something else.
My dad wants to see me get married. He wants to take my wedding picture.
It’s not unreasonable, and now that I think about it, not surprising. It’s even to be expected. I bet a lot of fathers want the same thing. What’s more surprising is that it’s never crossed my mind, though maybe that’s because I’ve been refusing to consider it.
I want to get married someday, yes, but I’ve never really given it serious thought. Not yet. How can I when I’ve never even had a serious boyfriend? I thought I had time to look for a husband, to find him, to fall in love, but now, I’m suddenly realizing I don’t.
My dad wants to take a picture of me, his daughter, in a wedding dress. For that to happen, he has to recognize me and he has to remember how to take pictures. That means I don’t have much time left.
So what? I’ll marry a stranger sometime next month just to make my father happy?
“Aster?” My dad’s voice jolts me out of my thoughts.
I put the wedding picture back on the end table and face him. “Dad. Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
“Shouldn’t you be?” He sits on the couch and the cushions sink beneath his weight. His shoulders drop as well as he lets out a sigh. “It’s strange. I used to be the one looking after you. Now, it’s the other way around.”
I shrug. “Well, that’s what families do, right? We’re family. We look after each other.”
He says nothing, but his silence tells me something is troubling him.
“Dad.” I move closer to him and put my hand over his. “I don’t mind. Really, I don’t.”
“But I do.” He flips his hand to squeeze mine. “You’re not even twenty-five, Aster. You should be looking after yourself, enjoying yourself.”
“And what makes you think I’m not?” I ask him. “I have a job I like. I jog nearly every morning with the dogs. I watch movies. I eat junk food.”
My father chuckles. “Too much junk food.”
“True,” I admit.
He smiles with pride, but the sadness in his eyes remains as he touches my cheek. A lump forms in my throat.
“You really are the best daughter a man could ever ask for.”
I swallow. “Because I was raised by a good man.”
I place my hand over his and lean into it as I look into his eyes.
“I love you, Dad.”
He doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t have to. I can see the abundance of love in his eyes as he looks at me, really looks at me like he’s memorizing every feature on my face. My chest tightens.
He loves me. My dad loves me more than anything in the world and he’s scared to lose me. I can feel it. I’m scared, too. I don’t want him to ever forget me. But it must be more terrifying for him.
He’s always eased my fears, even the small, silly ones like the fear of wind-up toys I had when I was four or my fear of moths. Now, he’s the one who’s in fear. Surely, there must be something I can do to help him.
I wrap my arms around him and hug him tight. “Dad.”
There’s a ton of things I want to tell him, but none of them feels right. I want to tell him I love him again, but that doesn’t seem enough. I want to tell him everything will be alright, but I don’t know if it will. I want to say he has nothing to fear, but that’s not true. I want to ask him not to worry about me, but I know that he still will.
