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“Now you’re being unfair,” I tell her. “I never said – ”
“Then again, I’m not surprised. What do you know about love? You’ve never been in love, have you?”
I don’t answer.
“You’ve never looked at a girl the way Leander looked at Sharon. You’ve never smiled after whispering something in a girl’s ear the way Leander used to do with Sharon.”
I frown. “Wow. You were watching them pretty closely, weren’t you?”
Her jaw clenches. “Do you know how rare it is for someone you love to love you back?”
More than you know.
“I think people take that for granted, you know. Some people meet each other and they just click like two pieces of a puzzle. They’re really meant to be beside each other, to complete each other. But there are more people who can’t have the person they want, no matter how bad they want that person.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t, Mason,” Aster tells me. “You’ve never wanted anyone. You’ve never cared about anyone or anything.”
Oh, is that how she sees me?
“You don’t need anyone. That’s your problem. So you just push everyone away.”
I never pushed you away.
“You think you’ll be fine that way, but guess what? You won’t be. One day, you’ll find yourself alone and lonely and miserable and you’ll wish there was someone you needed, someone you wanted so badly you couldn’t keep yourself from thinking of her, someone you cared enough about to go after and – ”
My lips cut off the rest of Aster’s speech as they seal hers. Plump, soft lips. Warm like the ray of sunlight brushing against your icy cheeks on the first day of spring.
I could go on kissing them, but I don’t. I muster every ounce of willpower in my body and pull myself away from Aster’s magnetic field.
She looks at me with wide eyes as I catch my breath. Then she clasps a hand over her mouth.
“What was that?” she asks in a voice barely over a whisper.
“A kiss.”
“I mean why?”
Because I want you. Because I’ve been looking at you the way you’ve been looking at Leander.
Aster’s eyes narrow. “Are you making fun of me?”
“No.” I shrug. “I just wanted you to shut up.”
I can’t tell her the truth. She won’t believe me. She doesn’t want to. She’s already made up her mind about me. To her, I’m a cold-hearted jerk.
So I’ll act like one.
“You can take your hand off now. I’m not doing it again.”
Her hand falls from her face. Her eyes narrow even more. “Unbelievable. How dare you interrupt me like that? Have you no respect?”
Now she’s wiping her mouth with the back of her hand like I’ve just given her some disease.
“Leander would never do anything like this.”
Leander. Always Leander.
“Are you sure?” I ask her in an irritated voice. “Now that he’s finally single like you’ve always wished he was, he just might. Aren’t you lucky?”
The hand that comes flying towards me takes me by surprise. Aster’s palm wipes the grin off my face. My cheek stings. I touch it as I look at her face. Angry. I’ve never seen her this angry. Her cheeks are flaming red. I can see a vein on her forehead pulsing. There’s enough ice in her gaze to freeze this whole town over.
“How… dare… you?”
Every word from Aster’s mouth is like an icicle to my chest.
“I hate you.”
She runs towards the Higgins house. The back door slams shut. I stand beneath the rain, ignoring the drops sliding down the strands of my hair, splotching on my sweater and creating a puddle around my feet. Thanks to Aster, I’m already numb inside and out.
I stand there for what seems like an eternity before dragging my feet back to the other side of the fence. They weigh a ton now, though they’re not as heavy as my heart, which has probably turned to stone. I go back into the kitchen. My mom and Giselle are no longer there. I can hear them from the living room, though. I can hear Giselle still sobbing and my mom talking on the phone to my dad in a nearly hysterical voice. What are they fussing about? Leander didn’t die. His girlfriend did. And I’m betting it’s his fault, too. He should be thrown in jail, not felt sorry for.
I go upstairs. My muddy feet leave prints on the carpeted steps. I don’t care. Aster said I didn’t care for anyone or anything. That’s true now.
I stop by my parents’ bedroom. The door is open and the TV is on. I don’t bother turning it off. I just head straight to the closet. Just as I thought, I find my laptop next to the boxes of my mom’s sneakers. I grab it and go up to the attic. I lock the door.
As soon as I’ve cleaned up, dried off and changed clothes, I start packing. It’s not because I’ve decided to go to Leander’s side and act like a good brother for once. It’s because I’ve decided to leave. I can’t stay in this house or in this stupid town a moment longer.
