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He doesn’t look convinced. Well, I don’t blame him. I’m not convinced, either.
I say I’m fine. I tell myself every day that everything will be fine, but I don’t know for sure. My dad’s Alzheimer’s isn’t going to go away. Everything I’ve read about it, every doctor I’ve spoken to has told me so. He’s not going to get better. In fact, he’s going to get worse. Today, his memory got muddled for just a few minutes like it has two to three times a week for the past several months. Tomorrow, it could last an hour. Eventually, he’ll forget everything, even me. I’ll be all alone.
He’s fading. My own father, the man who raised me, the man I look up to, the man who’s been my best friend, my rock, my inspiration, is slipping away right in front of my eyes. It’s worse than watching someone die.
I wrap my arms around my chest as the pain seizes me. And the fear. I don’t know which is greater. I know both are threatening to crush my heart, to drown me, to break me. Sometimes I feel like I can’t go on fighting it any longer. Sometimes I feel like giving up. But that’s not an option. I can’t give up on the man who never gave up on me, who gave up everything for me. I can’t refuse to take care of the man who’s taken such good care of me. He taught me to be strong. Now, I need to be strong for him. I know that, but right now, I just want to scream at the top of my lungs. I wish I could cry. I wish I had someone to make me feel less alone. Someone other than my dogs.
“No offense, Dali,” I whisper. “But I need another person.”
I think about calling my best friend, Peggy, but I know she’s at work right now and she’s busy. Besides, she’s got a lot on her plate, too. She’s got a diner to keep running, a daughter to look after, an ex-boyfriend who keeps calling her from jail, and a mother who’s also sick.
I need someone to take care of just me.
With my arms still around me, I walk to the window. For some unknown reason, I lift my head. To my surprise, I find Mason there again. He’s standing by the window of his own room, his old room in the attic, gazing down at me like some ghost.
Strange. It never occurred to me that he could see my room from his. Wait. Does that mean he used to watch me from up there?
I frown at the disturbing thought and close the curtain.
Can’t Mason Burke just leave me alone?
Chapter Two ~ Right Where We Left Off
Mason
So Aster Higgins still lives right where I left her – next door.
I’m not surprised. She’s all her father has. Given the close bond they have, she would never leave him. Maybe there was a chance she’d leave and take him with her, but as far as I know, she has never really wanted to go anywhere. And they can’t go anywhere now, not with her father’s condition.
No. That didn’t surprise me.
What surprised me is how much she hasn’t changed. Yes, she’s a few inches taller now – maybe a tad over five and a half feet in total – and her hair is now long enough to be tied into a ponytail. Plus her skin looks a tad darker, not bronze but not as pale as it used to be. But that’s all. She’s still slender. She still loves dogs. Based on the color of the shirt she was wearing earlier, she still likes green.
And she’s still running away from me.
What? Does she still hate me for what I did years ago? Is she still scared of me? Does she think I’m going to grab her and kiss her again?
The thing is, I can’t promise I won’t. Earlier, when I saw the woman she’d become, when I saw her with that cap and that shirt that was soaked between her breasts, I almost did just that. And just now, when I saw her in her room, looking completely at a loss, I wanted to jump right over and hold her.
That’s the biggest surprise of all.
I scratch my head as I walk away from the window.
Damn it, Mason. Didn’t you say you’d forgotten all about her? Didn’t you promise you’d never again go after something you weren’t sure you could have?
I sit on the edge of the bed and shake my head. I don’t need Aster. I’ve got my company, my career, my billions. I can buy everything I want. I can have any woman I want.
Except, ironically, the one woman I do want, which is why I told myself I’d stop wanting her.
