AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Aksel could hear the bitterness in his own voice. The helpless anger that Lisle hadn’t known that a child would make all the difference to him. She’d only seen the man who’d wanted to go out and meet the world, and she’d done what she’d felt she had to do in response to that.
‘She must have cared a lot about you.’
That was a new idea. Aksel had been more comfortable with the thought that the only emotion he’d engendered in Lisle’s heart was dislike. ‘What makes you say that?’
‘If the thought of you leaving was such an issue to her, then it must have hurt.’
Guilt was never very far from the surface these days, but now it felt as if it was eating him up. ‘I didn’t think of it that way.’
‘You’re angry with her? For not telling you about Mette?’
Yes, he was angry. Rage had consumed him, but he’d hidden it for Olaf and Agnetha’s sake. And now he hid it for Mette’s sake.
‘Mette loves her mother. I have to respect that.’
He was caught off balance suddenly as Flora swerved left into the service road that led to a large car park. That was the story of his life at the moment, letting other people take the driving seat and finding himself struggling to cope with the twists and turns in the road. She caught sight of a parking spot, accelerating to get to it before anyone else did, and turned into it. Aksel waited for her to reverse and straighten up, and then realised that the car was already perfectly straight and within the white lines.
‘I’d want to scream. I mean, I’d go out and find a place where no one could hear me, and really scream. Until I was hoarse.’
So she knew something of the healing nature of the wilderness. Aksel hadn’t told anyone why he’d taken the train out of Oslo towards Bergen, or that he’d set out alone in the darkness to trek to the edge of one of the magnificent fjords, roaring his anger and pain out across the water.
‘I didn’t scream, I yelled. But apart from that, you have it right.’
She gave a soft chuckle, regarding him silently for a moment. ‘And then you went back home and read all the manuals? Did your best to be a good father, without any of the training and experience that most men get along the way?’
That was exactly how Aksel felt at times. He’d loved Mette from the first moment he’d seen her. But sometimes he found it hard to communicate with her.
‘I’ve made a career out of dealing with the unexpected.’
Flora smiled and the warmth in the car turned suddenly to sticky heat. If he didn’t move now, he was going to fall prey to the insistent urge to reach forward and touch her. Aksel got out of the car, feeling the wind’s sharp caress on his face.
Flora grabbed her handbag from the back seat, getting out of the driver’s seat, and Aksel took his notebook from his pocket, skimming through the list he’d made. ‘I should get some Christmas-tree decorations as well while we’re here.’
She turned to him, a look of mock horror on her face. ‘You don’t have any?’
Aksel shrugged. ‘I’m used to moving around a lot. Whenever I’m home for Christmas, I go to my sister’s.’
‘Perfect. I love buying tree decorations, and if I buy any more I won’t be able to fit them on the tree.’ She scanned the row of shops that skirted the car park, obviously keen to get on with the task in hand. ‘It’s a good thing we came today, all the best ones will be gone soon.’
CHAPTER FOUR
IT WAS UNLIKELY that anything would be gone from the shops for a while yet. The stores that lined the shopping precinct were full of merchandise for Christmas, and rapidly filling up with people. Flora ignored that self-evident fact. It was never too early for Christmas.
Unlikely as it might be, Aksel seemed slightly lost. As someone who could find his way to both the North and South poles, a few shops should be child’s play. But he was looking around as if a deep crevasse had opened up between him and where he wanted to be and he wasn’t sure how to navigate it. Flora made for the entrance to the nearest store.
‘What sort of decorations did you have in mind?’ The in-store Christmas shop shone with lights and glitter, and was already full of shoppers.
‘Um... Can I leave myself in your hands?’
Nice thought. Flora would have to make sure it stayed just a thought. She smiled brightly at him and made for some glass baubles, finding herself pushed up against Aksel in the crush of people.
‘These are nice...’
‘We’ll take them. What about these?’ He picked up a packet of twisted glass icicles.
‘They’re lovely.’ Flora dropped a packet for herself into the basket, despite having decided that she already had too many tree decorations.
As they left the shop, Aksel gazed longingly at the entrance to the DIY store, but Flora walked determinedly past it, and he fell into step beside her.
