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His family, together again. It was something that Jamie wanted, even though it was hard. Out here he could forget about the anger that was never too far from the surface every time he saw Jon. Anna seemed to know, and she turned without another word, leading the way back to the house.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE DAY WAS going well. They’d had lunch, and then Jessica and the twins had gone out into the garden. Jamie had lit the fire in the sitting room, leaving Jon to doze in front of it, and when Caroline had chased him out of the kitchen, he’d meandered out into the garden to see what the children were up to.
‘He’s great with the kids.’ Caroline had reached the end of a long succession of plates and pans, and picked up a teacloth to help Anna with the drying up. ‘It’s a shame...’
‘That he doesn’t have any of his own?’ Anna tried to clear the lump that was forming in her throat.
‘Yes. I can’t blame him for being cautious, not after what happened with Gill. He’d be happier if he could leave that behind, though.’
‘Maybe he can. He and Jon seem to be patching things up.’
‘You think so?’ Caroline didn’t look convinced.
‘I don’t really know. They seem...’
‘Polite. They’re mostly polite with each other. Apart from when Jon’s baiting Jamie, and Jamie’s trying not to notice.’
Anna sighed. ‘Yes. But it’s a start.’
Joshua was starting to fret a little in his baby bouncer, and Caroline picked him up. Anna made a face at him, and he chuckled.
‘Will you hold him while I put everything away?’ Joshua was reaching for Anna, and Caroline put him into her arms. She sat down at the kitchen table, and the little boy started to grab at her hair.
‘He has green eyes!’ The resemblance to Jamie took her breath away.
Caroline laughed. ‘Yes, it’s not fair, is it? I got stuck with muddy brown in the genetic lottery, and now my son has gorgeous green eyes. I thought they might get darker as he gets older, but my mum said that Jamie and Jon’s were exactly the same, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed.’
Anna hugged the little boy and he gurgled happily, clutching at her sweater. This was as close as she’d ever get to knowing what it would be like to hold Jamie’s child, and even though it hurt she couldn’t let him go. She felt a tear roll down her cheek, and brushed it away before Caroline could see it.
‘He’s so precious...’ She heard her voice falter as she said the words.
‘You’re reckoning on having some of your own?’ Caroline lifted a pile of plates into one of the cupboards and then grinned over her shoulder.
If only. If she could give Jamie a green-eyed, happy little boy like this, Anna would have let things between them go much further. She’d have hung in there and shown him that the heartbreak they’d both suffered was in the past and could be turned around. But that was all wishful thinking.
‘I don’t know. I’m pretty busy with my career.’ Anna shrugged trying to shift the pain in her chest.
‘The two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive. I’ve put things on hold a bit workwise, but I still work two days a week. It keeps me relatively sane.’
‘What do you do?’ Changing the subject from babies to Caroline’s job would be good right now.
‘I’m a midwife. Harry and I decided that Joshua would be our last. I wouldn’t mind more, but there’s the small matter of raising them to contend with. We have our hands full as it is—people say that twins are more than twice the work, and it’s true...’
Caroline was talking still, but the words seemed to fade into background noise. Anna had come to terms with her inability to have children, and after Daniel had left her she’d pulled herself together and got her life back on track. She should forget all about things that she couldn’t do and concentrate on the ones she could. But the child in her lap was making that very difficult.
Caroline walked over to the window, looking outside. ‘The kids are amusing themselves out there so let’s have some coffee, eh?’
‘Oh. Yes, that would be nice.’ Perhaps she could give Joshua back to his mother and the terrible, instinctive tug would begin to subside.
‘Where’s Jamie, I wonder? He might want...’
Caroline fell silent as voices from the sitting room floated through into the kitchen. They were getting louder.
‘You just walked away, Jamie!’
‘Oh. Right. And that made it all okay, did it? Sleeping with my fiancée was obviously the only response possible to my career choices.’
