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As she hurried through the main reception area of the hospital, she saw Marianne and Neil again, with an older couple who were bending over the pram. Probably baby James’s new grandparents, who hadn’t been able to wait to get a glimpse of him. Thankfully they didn’t see her, and Anna made for the doors as fast as she could go without careening into someone.
Marianne and Neil were embarking on a journey that Anna would have loved to take. She’d begged Daniel to take it with her, but he’d refused, saying he wanted his own biological children. Anna hadn’t tried to persuade him any further. Daniel had already changed his mind about not wanting children, and had left her. They would never have been the kind of couple that could look after an adopted child, the way that Marianne and Neil were.
She should just forget all about
it. Baby James would be well cared for. If it seemed that he’d left a gaping hole in her life, it was only because that hole had always existed and was never going to be filled. Not with anyone, least of all Jamie.
* * *
Anna had become attached to baby James. That wasn’t in the least surprising, the little boy’s happy temperament belying his difficult start in life, and he’d been a favourite amongst everyone at the hospital. Jamie had got a little too attached himself, but he knew that everything was being done to make sure that both the baby and his biological mother were being properly cared for.
All the same, her reaction had puzzled him. He could have understood if she’d given him a hug and brushed away a tear, the way that the paediatric nurses had done. But Anna had been clearly struggling to hold her feelings back, and that piqued his curiosity. Anna was generally in the habit of telling him exactly what was on her mind.
Maybe she’d got to thinking about the kiss, and had decided it had been inappropriate. But she greeted him with a smile when he arrived at the clinic on Thursday, and the brush of her fingers on his arm told him that she was thinking nothing of the sort. Which was just fine, because Jamie didn’t regret it either.
‘We’re playing baseball on Sunday morning.’
They’d been sitting in silence, both concentrating on the papers in front of them on Anna’s desk. Actually, Anna had given every appearance of concentrating on her paperwork, while Jamie had been wrestling with how to phrase his invitation.
‘Yes?’ She looked up at him. ‘I heard that the forecast was for rain over the weekend.’
He’d heard that too. And if getting thoroughly cold and wet with Anna seemed like a taste of heaven to him, he didn’t blame her for finding it an unenticing prospect.
‘I should probably book an inside court.’
‘Yes, probably.’ Her gaze shifted to the papers in front of her again.
This wasn’t going quite the way he’d planned. Anna had sensed his ulterior motive and was already backing away from it. He should have been a great deal clearer about what he was asking of her.
‘Jon’s going to be staying with Caroline this weekend. I’m going to leave them to it, and was wondering if you’re free...’ Anna didn’t look up at him, but Jamie lapsed into silence as he saw the tops of her ears redden.
‘Jamie. Don’t embarrass me...’
He hadn’t meant to. And the only way that this could embarrass her was if she was about to say no. He liked spending time with Anna, and he knew that she liked spending time with him, but they both needed the reassurance of having a reason to be together. Just wanting to be together wasn’t enough.
Without looking at him, Anna picked up her pen again and started to write. The tops of her ears were still burning red, and the silence in the room was pressing down on him like a ten-ton weight.
Long minutes passed. Her phone was going to ring any moment now, calling her away, or it would be time for him to go and visit Jon’s room to have lunch with him. The subject of seeing Anna again would have been dropped, and with every moment that passed it would become increasingly unlikely that it would ever be broached again.
‘Look, Anna. Neither of us has any plans for a relationship right now. So could we take that off the table, please?’ Jamie blurted the words out.
She looked up at him. Then she smiled. It was a little watery, but it was a smile all the same.
‘Yes. You’re right, we should do that.’
‘So keeping that firmly in mind... I’d like to be your friend and spend some time with you.’
She thought for a moment. ‘I’d like that too. I’m free at the weekend.’
The weight lifted from his shoulders and Jamie suddenly felt as light as a feather. ‘That’s great. I am too, so maybe we could do something together.’
* * *
Now that a relationship had been taken off the table, it had allowed everything else to be added. Jamie had mentioned that the trees in the orchard were laden with fruit, ready to be harvested, and Anna had suggested they do it together. They’d driven down late on Friday evening, only giving themselves time for a nightcap before he went to his bedroom and she went to hers.
Jamie had slept peacefully for the first time in weeks, just knowing that she was in the house, even if he couldn’t hold her. In the morning, he’d cooked breakfast, and they’d walked down to the orchard together, Anna carrying the boxes for the apples and Jamie taking the sturdy ladder that would be needed to reach the highest branches.
‘I think that’s about it...’ They’d gathered up the windfalls, and sorted the apples into two boxes, ones that were perfect and those that were damaged.
