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‘I wanted to work in medicine right from when I was little. I used to watch all the TV shows...you know, hero doctors and nurses. I decided I wanted to be a paramedic.’
‘Bit more outdoorsy?’ Gabriel’s mouth twitched into a smile. ‘And you’re on the front line.’
She liked it that he knew that about her. ‘Yes. I went to university, and when I was there I joined the army reserves.?
??
‘Which was also outdoorsy and on the front line.’
‘Stop making me sound so predictable. Yes, it was. I made some good friends there and I loved it. I graduated and went on to train with the London Ambulance Service. My best friend from the army reserve joined the regular army, and we had a flat together in London. I lived there all the time, and it was her base to come home to when she was on leave.’
‘It sounds like a good life. Lots of possibilities...’ There was a sudden sadness in Gabriel’s voice. As if his own life, his family’s wealth and his own talents had somehow left him with fewer possibilities.
But he seemed to shake off whatever he was feeling, taking a sip of his drink and nodding her on.
‘I started seeing a guy I worked with...’
‘Was he nice?’ Something flickered at the side of Gabriel’s eye.
‘Yes, of course he was nice.’ Clara gave him an eye-roll. ‘What, you think I date creatures from the Black Lagoon?’
‘Just asking. Go on.’
‘And...things went well. Because he was nice.’ Clara flashed Gabriel a firm look to settle the question. ‘He always knew that I was with the Territorials and he seemed fine with the idea that I’d be called up sooner or later. The timing wasn’t great for us, it was two months after we got married. Tim wanted me to try to get out of it.’
‘But you thought it was your duty to go.’
Gabriel already knew that she had gone. But all the same the feeling that he understood her motives trickled pleasurably down her spine.
‘Yes, I did. My friend Steph had been killed in a bomb blast just a few months before that. I’d wanted her to be my bridesmaid, I’d even changed the date of the wedding to coincide with the end of her tour of duty, but she never made it.’
‘So you had to go.’ His eyes were suddenly dark, and Clara shot him a querying look. ‘Sometimes the dead place more expectations on us than the living.’
‘I never thought about it like that. But, yes, you’re right, I did have to go. Tim accepted it and...the tour of duty for a reservist is usually six months but that often extends to a year. I was away for eleven months, and when I got back...let’s just say that Tim had been lonely.’
‘I assume you mean he’d done something about that?’ Gabriel turned the corners of his mouth down in disapproval.
‘Yes. I arrived home two days early at six in the morning. I was looking forward to taking a shower and getting into bed with him, but...my place had been taken.’
‘He betrayed you.’ Gabriel said the words without emotion, but there was no lack of empathy in his gaze.
‘In more ways than one. Sandra was my friend before Tim even knew her. We all worked together.’
Gabriel’s lip curled. ‘So you ripped his arms off... I hope?’
Clara smiled without humour. ‘No. I felt like giving it a go, but one thing you’re taught when you learn to use force is that it’s a last resort. Always. So I just walked out of the house and didn’t go back. I resigned from my job as well. Working with both of them was...’
‘More than anyone could be expected to do.’
‘My parents went through a very bitter divorce when I was a kid. I spent most of my childhood being shunted back and forth between them, with each of them trying to turn me against the other. When I left for university, it was such a relief to be able to make up my own mind where I was going to be. I was so determined that I wanted something different out of my marriage, but it turned out not to be so different after all.’
‘And so you went back to the army?’
‘I wanted the feeling of belonging that it gave me. I volunteered for another tour of duty, and at the time they needed medical personnel so they took me back for another year. I guess you could say that I just ran away.’
‘You were with people who understood your values. And what those values can cost you. Like Mike does.’
Clara swallowed hard. Gabriel saw a lot more than she’d bargained for, and it was...comforting. ‘That second tour gave me back the confidence to succeed. I looked around for a new job, something my experience might fit me for, and found Gladstone and Sullivan Securities. They’ve been good to me, and I really care about my job.’
