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‘We rely on the generosity and good hearts of a lot of people. But it would be ungrateful of us to give the impression that those gifts will make things right for them. That’s another process entirely.’
He was watching her now, his gaze seeming to probe the nastier corners of her soul. The anger, the grief, the night she’d gone into Sally’s empty office, screaming and smashing until she’d been exhausted, then cried over a pink stapler that she’d hurled against the wall. Sam could almost feel herself pushing him away, closing the door and locking it, the way she’d done with Sally’s office.
‘That’s clarified your position, then.’ The words were brisk, businesslike, and they felt good. She’d been drawn in too far already, and needed to keep things on this less personal footing with Euan.
He waited, obviously wondering if she was going to say more. Cave in, and start baring her soul to him. Like hell she was.
‘Okay.’ His eyes told her that it wasn’t okay at all. That this was just the start of something, not the end. ‘Would you like to see the grounds?’
‘I’m a bit tired. Can we do it another time?’ Sam wanted out of this world. The one where you couldn’t just put the clamour of voices to sleep by closing the lid of your laptop. Where real people did real things, and if you were going to push them away, some kind of physical effort was needed.
‘Of course.’ He closed the glazed doors and locked them. ‘I’ll take you back now.’
* * *
She’d asked him to leave the makeshift blind over the skylight in her bedroom, and then shooed him away. A good night’s sleep, without the morning sun breaking in directly on her face, had obviously done her good and Sam had regained some of her colour and lost the air of trying to balance on shifting ground. And, being Monday morning, she was back in business mode.
She was sitting in David’s office when they returned from their Monday morning meeting, dressed in a pair of dark, slim-legged trousers and a neat shirt, with a peacock-blue jacket slung across the back of her chair.
When she raised her gaze from her writing pad, her eyes looked bigger and yet somehow soulless. Make-up, he supposed. Or, more accurately, war paint.
In front of her, were four A4 sheets filled with writing and diagrams. David craned over her shoulder to look at them, and shook his head, bemused. ‘What’s all this?’
‘It’s the schema for the Kathryn House information. Euan took me to see it yesterday and explained a bit about the services you plan to provide from there.’
‘Ah. Yeah, I think I might have a list somewhere.’ David flipped through a pile of papers on his desk and gave up, obviously unequal to the task of finding it. ‘Actually, I think I’ll make a new one. Things have changed a bit in the last couple of weeks.’
‘Good. Thanks.’
‘What are you planning to do today other than sort out that laptop for Juno?’ Since he was standing directly in her line of sight, Euan reckoned it was impossible for either of them to pretend that the other was invisible any longer.
‘I learned a lot at the weekend.’ She focussed on him without a trace of hesitation. ‘If it’s all right with both of you, I’d like to do some work on the database set-up today.’ She looked at her watch. ‘I’ve got plenty of time, even after Joe delivers the laptops and I’ve sorted the website software on Juno’s.’ Now that she was looking at him, her gaze seemed to melt into his, forged together in a blistering heat.
‘If that’s what you want.’ Euan almost staggered back when she broke eye contact with him.
‘Well, I don’t want to get under your feet too much.’
That was utter rubbish. She’d tried one approach, and it hadn’t worked out the way she’d expected it to. In anyone else Euan would have put that down to inflexibility, and maybe she was inflexible in her determination to make this project work. But that wasn’t all. He had a strong feeling that the way he’d questioned her last night had a lot to do with it as well.
‘That’s okay. Whatever works for you.’ He shot a glance at David, who nodded in agreement. ‘If today’s enough time to do what you need to do, I was thinking of getting together a group of people who’ve been through rehab with us. Dual purpose—it’ll give me a chance to hear a bit of feedback and you a chance to get an idea of the process and what it means to our clients. Would tomorrow be too soon?’ If she thought that he was going to give up on her, she could think again.
She considered the prospect and then nodded. ‘Sounds good. I’ll compile a list of questions I want to ask. Would you like me to email it through to you so you can combine it with your list?’
She was assuming he had a list. Euan had reckoned on taking a reactive approach, hearing first what everyone had to say. ‘No, that’s fine. I’ll probably just go with the flow.’
She gave him a little frown, and then obviously decided to agree to differ. ‘Okay. What time shall I come?’
‘About ten?’ That should give her enough time to plan whatever she wanted to plan.
She nodded. ‘Ten’s fine. Would you unlock the desk for me, please?’
Euan silently cursed himself. He’d forgotten to give her laptop back last night. ‘Yeah. Sorry.’ David raised a questioning eyebrow, and Euan confessed his mistake. ‘I locked Sam’s laptop in your desk yesterday.’
‘Ah. Good idea. You can’t be too careful, can you?’ David pulled a bunch of keys from his pocket.
She smiled. One of those composed little smiles of hers, which Euan couldn’t even begin to fathom the meaning of. ‘No. You can’t be too careful.’
* * *
