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‘Thank you.’
Jaye reached up into the cupboard, his hand hovering over the bottle at the back. Then he grabbed the herbal tea. They both needed clear heads for this conversation. ‘Well, before you thank me, I was going to suggest that you make your peace with him before he leaves.’
‘You don’t know what you’re asking.’ Megan watched him drop the teabags into two mugs. ‘Haven’t you got any brandy?’
‘Things are that bad?’ Jaye reached for the bottle, and poured the smallest splash into a glass.
‘He says that his wife has left him and that his two sons have cut him off. He’s ill and he wants me to go with him to Australia when he leaves here, and then back to London to work with him. After all this time he’s decided he wants me to be his daughter. He doesn’t have anyone else.’
That did call for something stronger than tea. Jaye downed the contents of the glass, pouring another mouthful for Megan into a second glass.
‘I don’t know what to do, Jaye...’ Tears formed in her eyes. ‘I know that Harry’s manipulative, and I take most of what he says with a pinch of salt. But suppose he really is ill and alone. Suppose he really does want to change.’
Jaye handed her the glass and sat down next to her on the sofa. ‘You want to hear what I think?’
‘Always. I have a feeling I might not like it, but at least it’ll be the truth.’
The truth was the least he could give her. Even if his heart was banging in his chest and he wanted to be so much more than a friend in need.
‘Harry treats you like a child. You say something he doesn’t much like and he brushes it off or laughs, as if he knows better.’
Megan caught her breath. She’d always thought that, but hadn’t dared say it. ‘That’s Harry...’
‘No, it’s not. He wasn’t like that with me. It’s how he tries to control you and put you down. You deserve a great deal more respect than that.’
‘Is that supposed to be the part I’m not going to like?’ Megan managed a smile, and Jaye longed to kiss the corner of her mouth. He made do with putting his arm around her shoulders.
‘No, the part you’re not going to like is that you need to stop accepting it from him. I think you need to decide what relationship you want with him and just tell him.’
‘Easier said than done.’
‘Of course it is. He is your father, and you want all the things that a father should give. But you may have to just accept that he’s never going to be a proper father to you, and work with what you’ve got.’
She moved on the sofa, laying her head on his shoulder and hugging him. It was an exquisite form of torture, which Jaye wouldn’t have missed for the world, because Megan needed someone. And being that someone was worth more to him than a dozen sleepless nights spent yearning for a more intimate touch.
‘Thank you. I... I needed someone to say that to me.’
‘Any time.’ His throat felt suddenly hoarse and rasping. ‘Sleep here tonight.’
‘I don’t think I’m going to sleep tonight. I might just as well stay on the ward...’
‘You want to try something?’
Trust me. Say yes. Even though you don’t know what I’ve got in mind.
‘Okay...’
* * *
Jaye had instructed her to imagine a bubble around herself. Protecting her from everything. When Megan had wondered whether she might not float away, he’d grinned and added the image of a tree, its roots reaching deep into the earth.
‘I’m that tree?’ She opened one eye.
‘Yes, you’re the tree. You’re strong and nothing can uproot you. And the bubble’s there to stop you from being hurt. Close your eyes.’
‘Okay. I don’t think I need the bubble. The tree’s good.’
‘That’s fine. Whatever works for you.’
