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Today, though, he seemed determined to take them. A late breakfast and a lazy morning sitting in wicker chairs, watching the last of the monsoon rains.
After lunch, Lucas disappeared to find the hotel concierge and returned with a borrowed chess set, the pieces intricately carved from ebony and sandalwood, a Maharaja and Maharani presiding over warriors mounted on elephants and horses. They played once with Western rules and then a second time with Indian rules, gleaned from a book that the concierge had produced.
It had seemed a perfect day, but when she lay in her bed that night, waiting to see his shadow outside on the balcony, he didn’t come. Maybe he was calling Ava. He’d said that he would after they ate. Thea drifted off to sleep, in the fond belief that he’d wake her when he slipped into bed beside her.
At breakfast, he looked tired. The one question that she wanted to ask had to wait until they were alone together, sitting on the balcony outside her room.
‘You didn’t come.’ Maybe he’d fallen asleep.
‘No, I…’ He looked at her thoughtfully. Suddenly it seemed as if he was a million miles away. ‘There’s no easy way to say this, Thea.’
No. Not after just two nights.
‘Just say whatever’s on your mind.’ Don’t say it. Please, don’t say it.
‘I think we should…’ He shook his head. ‘I’m not going to make the same mistakes I made last time.’
She managed to breathe again. He hadn’t said it. Not making mistakes was a good thing, wasn’t it?
‘We have to end it now, Thea. We can’t continue together.’
For a moment she wondered what he was talking about. He sounded so cold, as if he was cancelling an ill-conceived business deal. ‘But… What do you mean, Lucas? What’s happened? Did you speak to Ava last night? Is she all right?’
‘Ava’s fine. I’m talking about you and me. These few days have been…’
‘Don’t say it, Lucas. Don’t you dare say that these two days have been wonderful and then leave me. Don’t.’
‘Think about it, Thea. You want to travel some more, you’ve said it yourself. I can’t do that, I have to be there for Ava. I’m not in a position to share my life with anyone, not right now.’
‘Don’t you mean that you’re just too afraid? In case something goes wrong?’ Thea could have bitten off her own tongue. Why did she have to say that?
For a moment she thought he was wavering. For one sweet minute she thought she saw the warmth in his eyes that preceded a kiss.
‘No, Thea.’ He almost choked out the words. ‘I won’t do this again. I won’t string you along, pretend to you that it’s all going to work out and then pull the carpet out from under you. I did it once, and I won’t do it again.’
‘Lucas! That doesn’t make any sense at all.’ He was going to leave her, just in case he broke her heart. Didn’t he know that she’d rather take her chances?
‘It makes sense, Thea. There’s a whole world out there. You need to spread your wings, find your place in life again. Maybe I do too.’
She was tempted to tell him that they were her wings and she’d do whatever she pleased with the
m. But nothing she said was going to change his mind. She’d seen that look before, and Lucas was deadly serious about this.
‘You really mean it, don’t you?’
‘Yes, I do.’
Suddenly it hit her. History was repeating itself. They’d taken the risk, pushed their relationship to the limit, and Lucas was no more able to commit to her now than he’d been seven years ago.
She stood up, her legs shaking. ‘I won’t come after you, Lucas. Not this time.’
‘I don’t want you to.’ He couldn’t even look at her.
Thea turned and walked away from him, closing the balcony door behind her and locking it tight.
* * *
When Thea hadn’t appeared for lunch, Lucas had sent one of the hotel’s housekeepers up to see whether she was all right. He was told that she’d checked out three hours ago. Mad with worry at the thought of her travelling alone, he summoned the concierge, who gave him the number of the flight he’d booked for her, and Lucas called a taxi and went to the airport.
