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‘Lucas! Wake up. Smell the coffee or the flowers or whatever else is going to bring you to your senses.’ This wasn’t going the way that Thea had expected. She’d thought he’d hurt her so badly that she would never want to speak to him again. Until she saw him, the theory had worked perfectly, but now she wasn’t only speaking to him, she was allowing herself to hope.
‘I love you, Thea.’
Damn. He’d said it again. This time she couldn’t stop the tears. And when Lucas stepped forward he was the only thing she had to hang onto. She let him steady her for a moment and then took a step back.
‘What do I have to do to make you go away?’
‘Listen to me now. I know this is my fault and that I’ve no right to ask anything of you, but I’m going to do it anyway.’ There was one candle on the table beside the chaise longue that wasn’t lit. He struck a match, holding it to the wick. ‘Just for the time it takes for this candle to burn down to here.’ He held his finger to a band that circled the candle, about a third of the way down.
‘You can’t just say ten minutes, can you? It has to be until a candle burns down, or sand runs out of a glass.’ Thea couldn’t help a wry smile.
He shrugged, shaking his head. ‘No. Suppose I can’t.’
There was something about his eyes. Imploring and yet determined. They both knew she couldn’t hold out against that. ‘Okay, then. Just until the candle burns down. And then you promise you’ll go.’
‘Promise. Sit down, won’t you?’
The only place to sit was the chaise longue. Thea perched on the edge of it. She’d promised to listen, not recline.
‘You have ten minutes, Lucas.’
* * *
Ten minutes. When he’d planned all this it had seemed more than enough to do what he had to do but now it seemed like nothing. He had to be quick. Lucas stripped off his jacket and tie and unbuttoned his shirt.
‘What are you doing?’ There was an expression of shock on Thea’s face.
‘I want to show you…’ He pulled his shirt over one shoulder, and knelt down in front of her. When she touched his arm he winced in pain.
‘You’re having it lasered.’
‘Just the birds. Ava’s birthday stays.’ The swifts at the top of the tattoo had almost disappeared now.
‘It must hurt.’
He shrugged his shirt back over his shoulder, and put his jacket on. ‘Yeah. Blue ink’s not so bad as black but, yeah…it hurts.’
‘Why?’
‘Because when I got the tattoo I told myself that it was to remind me of you. But it was all a sham, a pretence that I still had some part of you. I don’t want to pretend any more. I want you, Thea. I want to be with you and all the tattoo reminds me of is that we’ve spent too long apart. I can’t even bear to look at it.’
She stared at him, hands clasped tightly in her lap.
‘I do love you, Thea. I know I’m going to have to prove it to you, and I’m going to have to become the man I want to be. The one who won’t hurt you, who’ll take care of you.’
‘You are that man.’ She almost whispered the words.
‘I look at you and I feel that I am.’
* * *
She was going to wake up in a moment. Find herself alone in her bed, and look out of the window to see only grass and a few shrubs in the back garden.
‘Would you mind sitting down, please?’ She patted the space next to her on the chaise longue.
The stress lines on his forehead began to melt and he sat down next to her.
‘Thea, I know you’re finding it hard to trust me right now, let alone love me.’
