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Well, everyone except me.
I force my lips to curve upward, aware of Austin’s eyes falling upon me. Jessa glances at me from across the table, offering a sympathetic smile.
“And to my wife,” Uncle Rocky continues. “No words, babe. Life is not worth living unless you’re by my side.”
Nikki grins back at him as he leans in and kisses her softly. Despite Uncle Rocky’s boisterous personality, the two of them have a love like no other. They’ve grown
together from such a young age, yet I can’t help but wonder if I would feel equally in love with Austin after years of marriage. He is my best friend; he knows me so well. Surely, friendship must account for something in a marriage.
But the moment my thoughts begin to think about the future, I am drawn back to Will. There is no denying my feelings toward him haven’t disappeared, but I also respect and love Austin. How is it possible to feel the way I feel about two men?
It’s wrong of me even to think these thoughts, let alone compare. Yet how do I ignore how erratically my heart beats when my eyes feast upon the man who once consumed me whole. The pull, unexplainable with its force—wreaks havoc on my soul. It begs to be touched again, to be ignited by the person who started the flame. But all these feelings, the emotions, all of them are forbidden when they should be directed to the man sitting beside me.
“And to everyone else here tonight,” Uncle Rocky mentions with a final toast, “you are my family. Thank you for celebrating my life with me.”
There is applause from everyone at the table until Uncle Rocky follows with, “So what time are strippers getting here?”
More laughter continues as the bottles of wine empty and the cake comes out with only one candle since Uncle Rocky is in denial about his age. We sing a round of Happy Birthday, followed by the waiters cutting the cake and serving it to each guest.
“How’s med school?” Jessa asks Austin, but not before smacking Andy’s hand while he attempts to steal her cake. I noticed this weekend that the two of them were very flirty. Since they aren’t related, being my cousins on either side, it wouldn’t be taboo if they dated.
Note to self…discuss this later with Ava.
“Hard, but it’s great. Hopefully, it will settle down when we get married soon.”
My eyes blink slowly while trying to grasp what Austin just said. We hadn’t actually discussed the getting married part, so when did it suddenly become soon?
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were getting married soon?” Jessa questions with a flat gaze. “Well, who doesn’t love a wedding?”
“Me.” Andy rolls his eyes until Jessa nudges him.
Nash raises his hand. “And me unless there are single hot chicks. You got any single friends, Millie? What about your friend Liesel? I wouldn’t say no to a cougar. Call me a honey badger.”
Jessa scowls at her brother. “You are so gross. I swear you’re Rocky junior.”
“Not soon,” I tell everyone with slight annoyance. “Studying is more important right now.”
Austin places his fist on the table. It's curled into a ball and almost stark white. What did he expect me to say? Lie to everyone about us planning a wedding? We hadn’t discussed a single thing except for the fact that we planned to wait.
“Maybe studying can wait?” he contests, keeping his voice low.
Across the table, Will purses his lips with a smug expression. With his arm around Gigi, he leans in again to whisper something into her ear. The nerve of him. I bet he spent all day fucking her brains out just to get me back.
I place my hand on Austin’s leg, willing to ease the tension of this conversation. “You’re right. We can make it work sooner.
I’m not sure why I lied or why I felt compelled to end an argument with Austin when in fact, he's putting me on the spot and telling everyone we are getting married soon is downright disrespectful.
My emotions are running wild, angered at Austin, who is trying to control things, and jealous watching Will flirting with Gigi. I shift uncomfortably in my chair, rubbing my hands against my thighs nervously. My chest begins to tighten, only to accelerate my breathing. The inside of my body starts to quiver, causing my stomach to churn.
Jessa and Luna excuse themselves to use the bathroom, only for my gaze to fall onto Will. Gigi is the one whispering something in his ear this time, only for a smirk to play on his lips. He purposely meets my stare and places his hand on her shoulder, teasing the strap she wears, all the while never breaking my gaze.
The asshole.
Throwing my napkin onto the table, I rise from the chair.
“I’m going to the bathroom,” I tell Austin, then I lean down and kiss his lips softly, caressing his face gently.
When I pull away, he grabs my hand and kisses the ring on my finger as my lips curve upwards into a smile.
