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“So, who’s at the lunch today?” Wes asks, switching lanes without using his indicator.
“Kyle and Kelly,” I say. “Harley and Poppy. Oh... and Farrah.”
Farrah’s known as the Hollywood train wreck. Her father owns some oil company making them billionaires. She’s a spoiled brat born with a silver spoon in her mouth. She’s politically incorrect and goes out of her way to stir trouble—one of her favorite pastimes. She’s also a walking billboard for plastic surgery having done her lips, cheeks, breasts, and her latest being butt implants.
“Great, Farrah. I read on Twitter the other day that Daddy bought her a bigger set of tits,” Wes comments with a sarcastic laugh.
“Really? Well, I guess we’ll see them today. Maybe this is a coming-out party... for the double FFs or whatever cups she’s sporting now.”
Wesley takes the exit, driving toward Orange County as we both laugh at Farrah’s ridiculous behavior.
“We shouldn’t laugh. In all seriousness, Daddy’s a game player. He’ll probably buy this network and boot us off the show because we’ve made fun of her.”
“Yeah, or he can offer to buy you a pair like last time.”
I cringe, remembering the episode which was filmed at her parents’ mansion where Daddy Dearest offered to buy me a pair of tits. The episode caused outrage on social media, but the ratings were high, and no one cared since high ratings equaled a bigger money pot. Most people took my side by blasting Farrah for supporting her dad’s behavior. Others claimed I needed it, my tits being the center of attention for weeks until something else took over.
We continue to talk about Farrah, knowing Cliff encourages our bitchy rants to cause controversy. Aside from Farrah, the rest of us get along great. Kyle and Kelly entered the show as a couple. High-school sweethearts from a small town in Minnesota. When auditioning, the network thought the television show would break them which equaled drama. During our second season, they broke up for one week. No one slept with anyone else, but then Cliff wasn’t happy with the boring outcome so he edited the scenes to make it look like they separated for the entire season, and slept with all of Hollywood. Neither of them minded knowing it was scripted and part of the whole acting gig.
Harley’s the bad boy of the group. His real name is Troy Madden, born into a military family and moved from state to state growing up. He’s nicknamed Harley because he has only one love in his life his Harley Davidson—Rosita.
Despite Harley being painted as the bad boy, constantly in trouble with the law, he’s actually a big softy. He has your back and you know you’re safe around him. Though the boys look up to him as a protector, it’s Poppy who formed a unique friendship with him. The crazy British girl that came to the States to study fashion.
“We’re here,” Wesley announces, parking his car and handing the keys to the valet.
Stella’s overlooks the Pacific Ocean and Laguna Beach. Owned by Stella Grace—heir to the Grace Hotel Chains—it’s a known hot spot for the elite and celebrities. The restaurant is decorated in all white, with small splashes of azure blue on paintings hanging on the walls. Each table has been carefully arranged with large vases of freshly cut lilies sitting in the middle of each table with shining cutlery and fancy glasses.
We’re ushered to a table outside where Kyle, Kelly, Harley, and Poppy are sitting. Saying hello and hugging each of them, we take a seat admiring the stunning view and perfect day while we wait for Farrah.
The waiter serves us some expensive wine, and we drink while having a light conversation until we’re brutally interrupted by Farrah. Each of us has our own camera crew—Farrah’s crew probably the worst of the bunch. I can’t stand them. Two sleazy men—Rick and Marty—both of whom I can only assume have fucked by her which is why they do everything she says.
“O.M.G. you guys, it’s been like forever!” She air-kisses us all, taking a seat at the end of table in her tight white dress that barely contains her confined double FFs. Her hair extensions touch the table, and she’s quick to push them back, keeping the blonde tresses away as she drinks her wine demanding another glass. Another thing about Farrah she enjoys her wine and is rarely seen without a glass in hand.
Our food is served and we begin talking about our plans for the summer. Majority of the conversation is non-scripted with the cameras recording the whole lunch.
Poppy’s the first person to bring up our engagement. “How are the wedding plans going?” she asks in her English accent. “I’m so chuffed it’s going to be a winter wedding.”
Both Wes and I knew this would come up because Josie told us we have to talk about it. I also had a very heated conversation with my publicist, Nina, over when I can start talking about our relationship breakdown.
“Coming along nicely,” I say with a smile. “We’re scouting venues, and I’d love for you to come dress shopping with me.”
Farrah laughs behind her fork, adding a sly comment, “You’d probably come out wearing some washed-up old rag.”
“Funny, Farrah.” I place my fork down giving Cliff what he wants whenever he places the two of us in a room. “That’s what most men think when they’ve been with you.”
Everyone at the table snickers, all but Farrah. She’s trying to control her rage, drinking her third glass of wine and still demanding a refill. The waiter might as well leave the bottle in front of her.
“It’s interesting you mention the wedding…. I’ve heard you guys are on the rocks?” She poses the question with much pleasure.
Wes places his arm around me, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing my engagement ring. With the cameras all pointed at us, I nestle my head against his shoulder and allow him to defend our relationship. “You believe everything you read, Farrah? Em and I are walking down that aisle. She’s my woman.”
I want to roll my eyes at such a barbaric reference, but don’t want Farrah to read anything into it. This conversation could quickly escalate into one of our well-known fights that results in us being physically held back by security.
Things haven’t always been difficult between us. In season one, we got along and became friends. Despite her wealth, we had a lot in common and bonded over that. It was season two when everything fell apart. She made some bitchy comments about me to Kelly and Poppy during a girls’ night out, and once I saw the footage I knew I had to protect my back. She had a knife and was ready to stab me with it.
The crew yell cut, so everyone can take a break and regroup. The makeup artists go straight for our faces, touching up the foundation and lipstick from the warm sea air.
Wesley announces his need to take a piss, disappearing into the restroom.
