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I honestly believed that as time went on, I would forget all about her. That some other woman would pique my interest and I would move on effortlessly. I didn’t expect feeling sick every morning when I woke up and didn’t anticipate the constant depressive state that came with that feeling. Like my whole world revolved around her and nothing I did or said would make it go away.
And sometimes, I rejoice in a moment of feeling like my old self. Yet, it’s always short-lived. Something or someone reminds me of her and I’m brought back to reality faster than you can say the word, broken.
I put on a brave face, never allowing anyone to see how much it affects me. Haden and Presley treat me like I’m dying, forever fussing over me and inviting me over to forget about everything. When I tell them I’m fine, they don’t believe me and give me a mountain of work to keep my mind busy. Long hours in the office help ease my troubled mind until the night sets in and I’m all alone again.
Charlie’s exactly the same. Forcing me on numerous outings and adventures with the girls to clear my head. Lex never says much, aside from understanding how I feel having been through a separation from Charlie for seven years. He warned Charlie to take it easy on me and to stop treating me like a broken baby bird.
I couldn’t agree more.
Kate’s Kate. Still around doing her own thing, and much like me, barely staying afloat in this game called life. She’s busy and back in New York City. We’ve chatted a couple of times, but neither one of us is in the best of moods which dampens our conversation every time.
Late Friday afternoon, I decide I need to get away. And the only place I want to go is home. Back to my old roots. I miss Mom a lot, and the second I walk into her house she knows I’m ready to talk.
“Oh, kid.” She places her arms around me and hugs me tight.
“I’m okay, Mom.”
“You look like shit, Noah,” she says without holding back.
“Geez, thanks.” I throw my bag toward the corner of the room and head to the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, I stand in front of it for minutes contemplating what to eat.
Somewhere in my self-absorbed bubble, I’ve failed to notice the moving boxes scattered around the room.
I grab an apple, taking a bite. “Am I missing something?”
“Sit down,” she tells me. “I’m glad you’re here, so we can talk in person.”
Pulling out a stool, I sit with my elbows resting on the countertop while I wait for her to explain.
“I’m moving to California.”
“Come again?” I ask, confused.
“Max and I—”
I stand up, eyes wide in shock as I almost choke on my apple. Pacing the room in confusion, my anger quickly erupts. “Max, as in Morgan’s dad Max?”
“Yes, we kind of started a relationship.”
I stop just short of the counter, watching as Mom leans with her back against the countertop. In my entire life, she only ever brought one man home—Josh. A divorcee who owns a hardware store in town. I was nineteen at the time and they dated for almost a year. I liked the guy, he had my approval, but they ended up parting ways because Mom said the spark was no longer there.
I had no idea what a spark meant nor did I care to ask. It’s difficult for me to remember that she’s still young and that most of her life was dedicated to raising me and not living her life like most teenagers or young adults should. And when you see her, you can tell she still looks youthful and nothing like me. She would always tell me I looked just like my dad. It was something she struggled with as I grew older. Her memories of him aren’t fond, but like anything, she made sure I wasn’t affected by his absence.
“But Max is old,” I blurt out, not thinking clearly.
“I’m old.” She laughs. “I know it’s a change, Noah, but you have your life and I’m forty-four. I need this change.”
“And Max is fifty-two. Isn’t that illegal or something?”
She grins, walking over to where I stand and pats my hand softly. “He treats me good, Noah.”
I let out a sigh. “He’s a good guy. But don’t you think it’s a big deal moving across the country for somebody you’ve known for like five minutes?”
“Yes, I’m scared but excited. Sometimes, when it comes to love, you take risks. Even if there’s a chance your heart will get broken.”
“Love?” I almost yell.
She never said anything about being in love with him. I thought they were just screwing around. Even then, that thought sends me into a blinding rage. Argh, I can’t win either way. Karma reall
