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“No! Gemma and Melissa.”
He continues to smile, shutting down his computer and packing his things. He will be gone for four weeks, and I hate to admit that I’ll miss him.
Yes, we get along much better.
Yes, I try very hard to curb any feelings I have toward him.
I am certain that once the baby comes, I will feel differently about him. I am certain everything that is consuming me now is because of the hormones. Take hormones out of the equation, and all he will be in my eyes is my child’s father.
“Have a safe trip,” I say with a genuine smile.
“I’ll text you once I’m there. Just take care of my baby, okay?”
“Our baby,” I correct him.
His face breaks out into a wide smile before he walks to the elevator and disappears.
“Surprise!”
I walk into the apartment, and there are balloons everywhere. Standing around are Kate, Vicky, Gemma, Melissa, Charlie, a couple of girls from the office, and my mom.
Aside from the mint-green balloons floating in the room, there is a long table covered in finger food, and a giant stork sits in the middle of the room. Toward the left wall, another makeshift table stands with a ton of presents.
“Happy baby shower,” Vicky and Kate sing in unison.
I smile, still in shock, and walk around the room greeting everyone. It’s the first time I’m meeting Charlie in person, and just like in her photographs, she is beautiful. With long, wavy brown hair just above her waist, her toned physique blows me away, especially considering she’s had two kids.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you.” She smiles, leaning in to hug me.
“And you. Where are the girls?”
“Lex took them to the zoo today. I’ve already gotten a dozen texts and calls.” She pulls out her phone and proudly shows me a picture of the two girls sitting in front of the bird enclosure. “Anyway,” she continues, “we’re here to celebrate you.”
Having been dragged to a number of these events in the past, I’m surprised it turns out to be a fun couple of hours, playing games, eating delicious food and, of course, opening presents.
Mom, as promised, got me a new breast pump, and pretty much the rest of the baby store back home. Among the other gifts are clothes, toys, and other much-needed items.
Hidden behind the last bag I open is a flat present wrapped in brown paper. I take it off the table and search for a card, which is on the opposite side. I open the envelope, take out the small card, and slowly read the inscription.
My dad would read this to me every night.
Now it’s my turn to read it to our child.
With everyone in the room focused on me, I unwrap the present carefully. It’s a storybook with a picture of two bears on the front. The title reads, Why I Love My Dad So Much. As I open the first page to have a glimpse, there, in a child’s writing, are the words, This book belongs to Haden Cooper.
I know everyone is watching me, and I’m barely able to choke back the tears. I think I mumble something like ‘thank you all for coming,’ and fortunately, Gemma distracts everyone with party favors.
When the last guest leaves, I head to my room, utterly exhausted. Vicky and Kate are happy to clean up, and Gemma, Melissa, and Mom head back to their hotel for some sleep before an early morning flight home.
Flopping onto the bed with Haden’s book in hand, I grab my phone and try to call him. It goes to voicemail after a few rings, and with heavy eyes, I send a follow-up text.
Me: Your gift was beautiful. Thank you for giving this to our child.
It’s the following morning when I read his reply.
Haden: Sorry I missed your call. I didn’t hear my phone at dinner. My dad read that to me every night till I was ten years old. I’m hoping I’ll be able to do the same.
It wasn’t until a week later that I went back and absorbed his words. My heart sank for him, that he won’t be able to read to our child every night because we aren’t together. He will live with his wife, Eloise, and I will live somewhere else. There is no point dwelling on that fact, and so I choose to move on. Well, at least I try to move on.
