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I promise to be your best friend.
Support you, respect you.
Be there for you in the good times and the bad.
I shake my head in an effort to drown out the sounds. The picture feels like a lifetime ago, and perhaps, we are naïve to think we’re strong enough to make it through anything. He promised to be my best friend, and sadly, he isn’t because I didn’t live up to his standards.
I failed to give him the one thing he begged for from the second we said, ‘I do.’
It’s all my fault.
He never said the words, but I can see it every time he looks at me. His stare burns with resentment.
Refusing to torture myself, I throw the album into the box and go to bed.
Word around the office this morning is that Haden is in his office with a strict do-not-disturb rule. I have no business with him today, or rather, I postpone anything to do with him. Clint is on my nerves, and after I berated him yesterday for a poor effort on a piece he was working on, my frustration with this place escalates.
No one can do their job properly. I constantly have to check people’s work only to have to redo it to meet my standards. The only one who understands my frustration is Sandy.
I dial her number, knowing she will be out of her meeting since it as almost lunchtime.
“Hey, you,” she greets, her voice pleasing me.
“How was your meeting?”
“Great, actually. You know when you get that spark of an idea, and it sends your brain into overdrive? Well, that’s how great it was.”
I sigh. “I miss that. Lately, it’s just been me trying to get everyone to sharpen their game. You should have seen the rubbish Clint showed me. I really gave it to him.”
?
??You’ve got standards, Elvis. You’re incredibly smart, and beautiful, of course. The whole package. Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise. You didn’t get to where you are by letting others dictate your standards.”
I relax into my chair with a smile. “No, apparently I got to where I am by marrying the boss.”
Silence falls over the speaker. Sandy keeps quiet when I speak about Haden, and to be honest, I don’t blame her. He has been a complete dick to her, dismissing her ideas and her ability to run Indie Press. After our meeting where Haden humiliated her, everything just blew up. The two of them clash, and I am the one caught in the middle.
“You don’t need him, everything you achieve is all you. And even if he weren’t around, you’d still be great.”
“Sometimes, I think it would be easier,” I admit, my voice croaking slightly as I stare at the wedding band nestled on my finger. “Everything about us feels too hard right now. He’s impossible, and I can never do anything right.”
Sandy has never held my vulnerability against me, especially when it comes to Haden. I have lost count of the hours in which I speak about him and our marriage. It’s always at the forefront of my mind. The timing of her return is perfect.
Charlie and the rest of our friends are getting on my nerves, treating me like a porcelain doll, and I am so sick of hearing the same broken record.
I need to grieve.
I don’t need to grieve.
What I need is for everyone to back off and just let me get on with life.
So, I avoid everyone for my own sanity.
However, I value Sandy’s opinion, even when at times, it causes an argument with Haden.
“You know what you need?”
I grin, knowing whatever she says will be exactly what I need. She knows me that well.
