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She stumbled along the path, her body grazing against mine as she chattered incessantly about the football game she just left.
I stayed on guard, knowing she wasn’t capable of walking much farther in her intoxicated state. She linked her arm with mine, and it took a hell of a lot of restraint not to let the feeling of her touch cloud my judgment.
Even in the dark night, she was beautiful. I had been mesmerized by her since sixth grade, the way her smile made her whole face light up, showcasing her cute dimples, to her chocolate-brown locks which flowed down her back.
But she only ever saw me as the loser who lived next door.
“Julian, do you think I’m the prettiest girl in school?” She giggled, the stale stench of beer on her breath.
Of course, she knew she was the prettiest girl in school, and it being our senior year, she knew she’d be crowned homecoming queen. I had no doubt she deserved the title, I just didn’t understand why she belittled herself by hanging out with the football team. They were a bunch of brainless jocks, and all they wanted was to play football, get drunk, and boast about their sexual conquests. Chelsea was one of them.
“C’mon, Chelsea, you know you are.” My voice was timid. I wasn’t exactly comfortable around girls, and what did I know about expressing my feelings?
She let out a laugh. “I bet you’ve dreamed about me and probably jerked off all over your sheets.”
I felt the heat rise into my cheeks, almost certain I was blushing. Like I said, I wasn’t comfortable around girls and fairly sure I might have been the only virgin in my senior class. What made it awkward was that I had thought of her, like every night, when I went to bed and attempted to go to sleep. I couldn’t control the sexual desire I felt toward her. I had no idea what it meant, but of late, it had been almost every night.
I didn’t answer her. Thankfully, we’d arrived at her house. I knew her parents were heavy sleepers, which is how she got away with sneaking out every night.
“I don’t want to go home. C’mon, Julian, let’s have fun,” she whined.
“Chelsea, we have finals tomorrow. You need to sleep.”
Without warning, she pulled my body, flush with hers. I was so close I could pick up the scent of her shampoo, vanilla something.
“I’ve got it covered. Let’s take your mom’s car out… maybe you could take me out to Willow’s Peak?”
I stirred slightly at the thought. Willow’s Peak was a notorious make-out spot. You didn’t go there unless you were going to get laid, hence, why I hadn’t been. I couldn’t help but feel nervous. If there was any girl I should lose my virginity to, shouldn’t it be with the girl I was hopelessly in love with?
We drove up to the peak which wasn’t far from my house. On the ride over, Chelsea fiddled with the radio settling on The Cardigans ‘Lovefool.’ Belting out the lyrics, she sang loudly, tossing her hair around lost in the moment.
As I parked the car, the nerves kicked in, and a thousand thoughts ran through my head. What the hell do I do? What if I do it wrong?
She fumbled with her seat belt, giggling to herself as she attempted to unbuckle it. I couldn’t look her way, and instead, I stared out the window into the dark sky, pretending to be fascinated by the starry night when really, I was having a panic attack. She climbed into the back seat and motioned for me to follow her.
Shit. This was it.
I followed her lead because I had no idea what to do. Why didn’t I watch porn or something instead of reading back issues of Playboy? Breathe. I can do this. Just don’t blow your load too early.
Climbing over my lap, she gently rubbed herself against me, my hard-on unavoidable with this pile of nerves I was feeling.
“Relax,” she whispered.
She slid her hand into my boxers until her fingers were placed firmly around my dick. I yelped at the sensation. It wasn’t what I expected—it was even better.
Reaching into her bra, she pulled out a condom.
God, why didn’t I pay more attention in sex ed?
I don’t know how she got it on as I was caught up in my own embarrassment. She shifted her body again until I felt a warm sensation spread over my shaft, and like a butterfly effect, it began to spread throughout my body reaching all the parts of me I never knew existed.
With slow motion, she began riding me, slowly grinding unti
l her movements picked up. The feeling was consuming me. I didn’t want to tell her this was my first time, although I suspected she knew by my lack of confidence.
“Julian, I want you to remember your first time. I know how much you want me… now you have me forever engrained in your memory as the first girl who made you feel this way.”
Her words echoed in my head. She’d forever be the first girl that made me feel this way, and I had no doubt in this very moment that I wanted her to be the last.
Somehow, I found my confidence and placed my hands on her face, the affection stopping her movements as I stared into her eyes. I only saw this beautiful girl, the one who had tortured me with her perfect body, the one who would throw rocks at my window to wake me up so she could ask for my English notes, not realizing how sheer her nightie was. The girl with the most enchanting honey brown eyes I had ever seen.
“Chelsea… I love you.”
It rolled off my tongue, and something in her eyes, the way they reflected back at me, told me I was the first to ever say those words to her.
