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“Yes, we have. But hey, men are known to swing during a midlife crisis.”
“Eric, I’m thirty-three, and I have all my hair. I’d like to think it’s still a while till I hit my midlife crisis.”
“Okay, but if I see you driving around in a luxury sports car, I may yell, ‘This guy has the smallest penis ever.’”
I continue laughing.
Eric has this way of turning any situation around. Here I am, paranoid that he’ll know I’m waiting for Charlie. Well, at least he hasn’t pointed that out yet.
“So, is this your kid or something?” He looks at Tristan, eyeing him up and down.
“Mate, I’m twenty-one… hardly a kid,” Tristan says defensively.
“Oh, nice accent. Perhaps the skateboard threw me off,” Eric replies childishly.
“Eric, this is my nephew, Tristan. He’s staying with me for a few weeks.”
Introductions over with, now Eric can move on his merry way like this encounter never existed.
“Nice to meet you, Tristan. So, you from the land Down Under?”
Eric’s Aussie accent is terrible.
“Nope, a native southerner. Just sent to boarding school in Sydney,” Tristan corrects him.
“Boarding school? Oh, how very Harry Potter of you. Boarding school would be like a dream come true. Stuck in a dorm room with other boys? Communal showers…” he starts to trail off as Tristan begins to look uncomfortable.
“It’s kinda not like that,” Tristan mumbles, his voice low.
Eric senses Tristan is uncomfortable and moves on. “So, how long are you in Cali for?”
“Officially, two weeks, but then again, it’s however long Uncle Jools will have me.”
I cringe again at the name and shoot him an annoyed look.
Tristan mouths the word “sorry.”
“Tristan here has decided to couch surf, or should I say set up indefinitely on my couch with his PlayStation.”
Eric continues to ramble on, his filter apparently deactivated. “Right, I’m not good with electronic devices. Unless, of course, it comes with—”
“I get it, Eric… your taste is somewhat controversial.”
“Only to those who live a life of celibacy.” Eric laughs.
I have an idea. Will it work? Who knows, but it will keep Tristan busy, which means I’ll have more time to resume my normal activities. I have spent enough time with Eric to know his weakness is socializing.
“So, Eric, would you be interested in showing Tristan around? You know, all the cool spots where you kids hang out these days?”
“I don’t think Tristan would, um…” he clears his throat, “… be thrilled with my hangout spots.”
“Do I dare ask?”
“So, how do you feel about whips and chains?” Eric teases Tristan.
“I, um… mate, I don’t…”
“Relax… it’s a joke. You Aussies make plenty of jokes while you’re having a shrimp on the barbie.”
