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“Hi, Mr… I mean Julian. I have a call for you on line two. A Mr. Grimmer.” Her voice is sweet, and I know I shouldn’t go there. So I don’t, for now.
Picking up line two, I take a deep breath and prepare myself for the worst.
“Mr. Baker, I hope I’m not interrupting anything important?” he politely asks.
“Not at all, Mr. Grimmer. I trust you received my email?”
There’s a pause. I know it—who am I fucking kidding?
“I’ll be frank. The quality of your work is mediocre. It lacks that certain element, that magic.”
I rub my face with my free hand. It fucking lacked being on coke. Is that what I need to follow my dream? A sweet line to seal the deal?
“Listen, son. We often find a muse. Whatever it may be, there’s something, someone accompanying you on this journey. Find it again, and the writing will flow. You understand what I’m saying?”
I nod, remembering he can’t see me. “I understand.”
He asks to see an update in two weeks.
Until then, I have no choice.
No choice whatsoever.
***
The road is dark and windy, even the moon seems obscured behind the night clouds. Like every other time I’ve gone up this road, I do so cautiously—eyes focused, mind fractured with emotions.
This time the emotion is guilt.
I grip the steering wheel wanting so desperately to close my eyes for a moment, but my focus needs to remain on the road.
I hear his words echo in my head.
The voice telling me to leave her alone.
The threat to end my life should I dare go near her.
I want to conquer this battle. All I have to do is turn around and head back home.
Home, not to my dealer.
Weak. Pathetic. Worthless. The words scream at me.
I’m a coward.
I slam my foot on the brake, forcing the car to a halt. I sit still, heart pumping as the engine continues to tick over. It’s a desperate bid to save myself from the misery and disgrace which has once again come over me.
With my last attempt to redeem myself, I slam my foot on the gas, turn the car around and head in the opposite direction.
I did it. I won the battle this time.
As I take a sharp turn around the bend, I notice the skid marks on the road followed by the smell of burned rubber in the air. My eyes dart to a faint light flickering by the tree down the hill. There are no other houses on this stretch of the road, and something tells me someone is down there. I pull the car off to the side of the road, grabbing my cell before quickly hopping out and running down the hill toward the light. In the darkness, I stumble on sticks and stones and hear the sounds of animals lurking around me. Fuck, it scares the living daylights out of me until my heart stops in a panic, my legs beginning to shake, and my throat runs dry.
My brain scrambles to make sense of what I see in front of me.
The license plate.
Charlie!
