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“I know, I can sense that,” he says, without judgment in his tone. “Lantern Publishing has a sister company, and they are mighty impressed with your work. They want you to fly over and do signings across the country, including a book reveal party.”
The excitement floods my veins, the familiar rush from my hard work paying off. I’ve had many moments like this, such as when I graduated from Harvard with honors to the first time I’d published an article in the New York Times. Memorable moments which have been lost in my own insecurity over the last few years.
“I’m grateful to be given this opportunity. For how long and where?”
“At least six months, and… it’s Sydney, Australia,” he reveals.
My brain takes a moment to register six whole months on the other side of the world. Visiting Australia has always been on my bucket list. I have absolutely no doubt I’ll enjoy such a beautiful country.
“It’ll be all expenses paid. I’ll be honest with you, son, I haven’t seen an offer extended to an author this generous in quite some time. You should be proud of yourself.”
“I am… it’s huge and such a great opportunity.” The excitement slowly starts to build again. “When will I leave?”
“Sunday night.”
“As in five nights from now?”
“Yes. They want this on the shelves by Christmas. Time to start packing your bags. This will be the beginning of an extremely rewarding career.” He continues to congratulate me and speaks briefly about the finer details.
Financially, I’m back in the game and able to get ahead again. It’s a golden opportunity, yet I am unable to fully appreciate it as the thought of being away makes my heart beat abnormally. This is ridiculous, a dream come fucking true, and I don’t want to leave someone who one… could never have feelings for me the way I want them to, and two… is just a friend.
I hear a rustling noise beside me. Hazel sits down with Blaze in the middle of us.
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”
“Hazel, this is your home. I can’t thank you enough for opening it up to me.”
She gives me a few moments. “I’ve been given the opportunity of a lifetime, Hazel. Why am I not jumping over the moon?”
“Because your heart wants what it wants.” She smiles.
“My heart has been very wrong in the past. Why should I believe it now?”
“Julian, you have to accept that people, events… they happen for a reason. These people who came into your life… don’t question your love for them. Be grateful and treasure the experience.”
“I have to go to Sydney… I know it’s the right thing to do.”
“Then go. Follow what’s inside here.” She points to my heart. “It’s never wrong when you’re listening with all honesty.”
“The problem is, I think someone is clouding my judgment.” It’s the first time I have admitted my feelings to anyone, besides, of course, Adriana. I’ve been bottling it up waiting to see if it will magically disappear. Turns out, it only intensifies. “I don’t even know where to begin with it. I just know it hurts to think I won’t see her face whenever I want.”
“She’s alive, living, and breathing? She walks this earth?”
“Yes.”
I don’t know where Hazel is going with this.
“Then distance is only a minor obstacle. My point is, you can see her whenever you want, and you can talk to her whenever you want. Technology these days is remarkable. If only they had Skype in heaven.” She smiles fondly.
I place my arm around her shoulders, thanking her for everything. Hazel will always be the calm throughout the storm, the reason when hope fails. A mother, a friend—a confidant.
“What about Blaze?” I ask in concern. I haven’t even thought about her.
“She’ll stay where she belongs, right here. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
And so, it’s settled. I’m moving to Australia for six months.
There’s a lot to do in five days, and to top that off, Hazel suggests that instead of having our normal meeting, we have a gathering here at her place as a farewell. I thank her for not surprising me since I hate surprises, and she knows exactly that.
