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They sat in silence for a few moments, absorbing everything that had happened in the past hour. Apparently being held hostage by a blizzard was just the beginning. Finally, Bree spoke. “Well, I’m sorry about all this. There’s nothing I can really say or do to make it better, but I wish that I could.”
Before she could stop herself, she reached out and clasped his hand in her own. She expected him to accept the brief gesture of comfort and pull away, but he didn’t. He tightened his grip on her fingers, sending a surge of emotions through her. She probably wasn’t the best person to help Ian through a moment like this, but she was the only one here. She wanted to hug him. Comfort him. But was that dangerous with their biggest barrier suddenly removed?
“Thanks, Bree,” he said, running the pad of his thumb over her skin. “I guess I should be happy the snow kept Missy from getting here. Can you imagine the three of us trapped in the house when this happened?”
She shuddered, but she wasn’t sure if it was his words or his touch. “I would’ve had to cut a bitch,” she said with a sly smile to help lighten up the situation. “Seriously, I know how important being a good father is to you.”
Ian nodded. “I keep telling myself that everything works out for the best. A part of me is relieved. A part of me is so giddy to break things off with Missy that I want to skip through the house. At the same time,” he added, a sadness creeping into the green depths of his eyes, “even though I didn’t want Missy to be the mother of my child, I wanted that child just the same. Even though he or she was never real, it felt real.”
“Of course it did. And you should give yourself the time and space to grieve for the baby, imaginary or not. You can’t just blink and have the whole situation suddenly not matter anymore.”
“Thanks for understanding. You’re right, and that’s how I need to think about it. I’m glad I’m here instead of back in Nashville. I think some people there would just pat me on the back and say to get over it because none of it was real.”
“It was to you. So take the time you need. Do what you have to do. I think you should take advantage of the peace and solitude here to deal with all this. That way when you return home, you’re ready to face the fallout.”
Ian looked at her with a furrowed brow. “Peace and solitude? I don’t even know what that is, much less how to take advantage of it.”
“I’ll tell you what it is. And how to get it. You made fun of me last night, but unplugging is the best thing you can do right now. You start by turning off your computer and your phone. Forward your business calls to your assistant if you have to, but you don’t want the press and well-meaning friends pestering you about all this. Give yourself pure radio silence.”
“Turn it off,” he repeated, although he didn’t sound convinced.
“Yep,” Bree said with an encouraging smile. “It’s easy. I’ll show you how.”
Six
Silence wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
Bree had sold the idea to him like it was the greatest thing in the world. Not true. Without technology to distract him, Ian found he was uncomfortable with his own thoughts. Bree had given him his space and he was drowning in it.
Less than an hour after unplugging from the world, he was suiting up for the cold and heading outside. He had too much nervous energy and too many thoughts swirling around in his head. When he was younger and had the same problem, his mother would give him a physical task.
Then, and now, there was nothing that some hard labor couldn’t fix.
In the garage, he grabbed the snow shovel and a plastic tarp, then headed through the house to the front door. He opened it carefully, leaving a preserved wall of snow going about three feet up the doorway. He spread the tarp down on the wood floor to protect it from snow that might fall inside and melt.
This was as good a place to start as any. From inside, he thrust the shovel into the top few inches of snow and hurled them to the side of the porch. Then he grabbed a second scoop and flung it to the opposite side. Again and again he shoveled until he was able to step out onto the porch and close the door behind him.
From there, he lost himself in the physicality and monotony of the work.
It took more than an hour to make a good path down the front steps to the road. It took another hour to clear in front of the garage doors and excavate Bree’s SUV. They wouldn’t be driving anywhere anytime soon, but if the snow started to melt then refroze in the night, it could turn to an icy shell around her car and damage the paint job. Maybe even crack her windshield.
The work had done wonders for his outlook. His arms and shoulders ached, but he had powered through the stages of grief in a rapid-fire assault on the snow in his driveway. The anger, the disbelief, the disappointment, the relief and the associated guilt came and went with every shovelful of snow. Two hours and three blisters later, Ian finally felt the mysterious sense of peace that Bree had mentioned earlier.
Resting his arms on his shovel, he admired Mother Nature’s handiwork. He normally didn’t come up here when there could be snow, so the sight of the familiar landscape transformed into a winter wonderland was stunning. The sun made the piles of snow sparkle like they were coated in a dusting of glitter. Icicles hung precariously from tree branches and the rooflines of houses in the distance. The chimneys of his neighbors puffed towers of gray smoke against the bright blue sky.
It was perfectly silent. No cars driving down the road in the valley below them. No people talking or walking around. Even the animals were deep inside their dens staying warm. He felt a sense of inner calm being out here that he’d never expected to find, especially after this morning.
When it was all said and done, he couldn’t be angry anymore because he’d been given a second chance. A chance to marry a woman he really loved. To start a family with someone he cared about. It was a life he really hadn’t given much thought to until Missy had reeled him into it. And now that he was free of her deception, the idea of a family—one the way he imagined—brought on an overwhelming feeling of hope.
That sense of hope was shattered as he felt something cold and soft slam into the back of his head.
Ian turned around to the sound of a feminine giggle and discovered Bree on the patio. She was armed with several snowballs and ready to go to battle. An innocent grin spread across Bree’s face, but there was a wicked glint in her eyes. “It’s a snow day,” she argued.
“Aren’t we a little old for a snow day? I don’t recall hearing school was canceled.”
She wasn’t deterred. He recognized that determined lift of her chin. She had strong-armed him into turning off his gadgets and now she was going to bait him into having some fun.
“You need something fun to distract you from all this crap. It doesn’t matter if we’re eight or twenty-eight, we’re going to play in the snow.” She chucked another snowball at him and this one landed squarely on his chest.
