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“Good point,” Rico said. “Cons?”
“He only sleeps with women,” Chris said.
“So far,” Tanner said. “But didn’t Kelly say wolves were all fluid? Maybe he hasn’t yet found a man to rev his engine.” He looked at me. “Maybe he shouldn’t start with Gordo. He’s more of a work-your-way-up-to. Or a last resort.”
I pointed my mug at him. “You’ll be the first to die.”
“And while he’s young, he might be too young for Gordo,” Rico said. “Gordo tends to like them a bit more… mature. Actually have some grass on the field, you know?”
“And you’ll be second,” I growled at him.
“I also haven’t detected any sexual chemistry between the two of them,” Chris said. He glanced at me. “Did anything happen on the road? One night, maybe, when you two were feeling a little bit lonelier than usual, maybe you gave in and he sucked your—”
“I’ll save you for last,” I warned him. “While the screams of the others still echo in your ears.”
“Let’s move on to Mark,” Rico said. “Pros and cons?”
“There’s a history there,” Tanner said before chugging the rest of his beer.
“Is that a pro or con?” Chris asked, filling my empty mug. Less foam this time.
“I don’t know,” Rico said. “Gordo, is that a pro or con?”
I wiped my mouth, enraged.
“I’ll put it in both,” Chris decided.
“He’s Gordo’s type,” Tanner said.
“He pretty much defined Gordo’s type,” Rico said.
“Do you know how long it takes for a person to suffocate?” I asked them. “Usually around three minutes. I can make it one and a half.”
They ignored me. “And he’s big,” Tanner said.
“And hairy,” Chris added. “Except for the top of his head.”
“All that chest hair,” Rico said. “Man, being in a werewolf pack with mostly men must be like a buffet for the gay guys.” He kicked me underneath the table. “Is it a buffet for you? All that man flesh on display?”
“Too bad Jessie’s not a wolf,” Tanner sighed.
“That’s my sister,” Chris snarled at him, trying to stab him with the pencil.
“Elizabeth is hot for an older lady,” Rico said. Then his eyes widened. “Please don’t tell her I said that. I don’t want to do an Ox versus Richard Collins impression and see my insides on my outsides.”
“Wow,” Tanner said. “Too soon, man. Too soon.”
Chris shook his head at Rico, obviously disappointed.
“Lo siento,” Rico said. “It felt wrong as soon as I said it, but I was already committed. Won’t happen again. Where were we?”
“Mark and Gordo,” Tanner said.
Chris nodded. “So far we have so many more pros than cons.”
“Cons,” Rico said. “Cons, cons, cons. Oh! I got one. Like, they broke up and stuff for reasons Gordo has really yet to explain, even though he’s Mark’s mystical moon magic mate, or whatever. And he hasn’t told us why neither of them have pulled their heads out of their asses since Gordo got back, even though they sometimes stare at each other like they want to choke on some dicks.”
I glared at him.
