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He chuckled bitterly. “Why. Why. So I could stay here, you idiot. So I could be with you.”
“I asked you. I begged you. And you told me no. Because you would be an Omega.”
r /> “Doesn’t matter now, does it? It’s already happening.”
I was in front of him before I realized I was moving. My chest bumped his. He breathed in sharply, nostrils flaring. His eyes flickered orange. There was a low rumble in the back of his throat. “Don’t. You’re not going to be an Omega. I won’t let it happen.”
“Gordo,” he growled, and I swore I saw a hint of fang.
“Shut up. You’ve had your time to talk. It’s my turn. You hear me?”
He nodded slowly.
“I hated you. For the longest time. All of you. You. Elizabeth. Thomas. All of you. You fucking left me here. And all I wanted to do was hurt you as best as I knew how. And then you all came back to Green Creek, acting like it was nothing. Like you didn’t need me. Like you didn’t even remember me. And then you fucking tried to take Ox and—”
“Pretty sure that was Joe.”
“I know that was Joe,” I snapped at him. “And you know when the first time I heard from Thomas was? It was because of Joe. It wasn’t I’m sorry, Gordo. It wasn’t I never meant to leave you behind. It was because he needed me to help his son. He needed me to help Joe. After all these years, he came for me because he wanted to use me.”
They don’t love you, my mother had said. They need you. They use you.
“He came to you,” Mark said in a rough voice, “because you were the only one he trusted enough to help his son.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. Through the bonds between us, all I felt was the blue sorrow.
“After… after we found Joe, after we took him back from Richard, he wasn’t the same. Not until Ox and he found his voice again. And even then, he would wake screaming in the middle of the night. About the monster who was coming for him. The monster who would take him away again. Thomas didn’t know what else to do. Those full moons before Joe achieved his shift were… harsh on him. His wolf was there under his skin, and it was tearing him apart. Thomas came to you because you were his pack, even if he wasn’t yours.”
I bowed my head, laying it on Mark’s shoulder. My eyes were burning, my body trembling. A hand came to the back of my neck, fingers in my hair. It was grounding. It was familiar. It was oh so dangerous.
His mouth was near my ear when he said, “I wanted to do it. For you. Maybe I would have turned Omega. Maybe not. You were my tether, even then. It might have been enough, but I was too scared to find out. You’re my mate, Gordo. Dirt and leaves and rain.”
I shuddered against him. “I hate you.”
“I know. Even though your heartbeat says otherwise. I think you believe it. And I’m sorry for that.”
“Goddamn you.”
“I know that too.”
I lifted my head but didn’t pull away. He didn’t drop his hand. Every breath I let out, he took in. His eyes searched mine. He glanced down briefly. His lips twitched as his gaze met mine again. “I like the tattoo.”
I didn’t understand. “What are you talking about? You’ve seen all my—”
Except he hadn’t, had he? No. He hadn’t seen the one I’d gotten after he left. The one that had been just for me. To remember.
He hadn’t seen the wolf and the raven inked into the skin above my heart.
“How long have you had that?” he asked, teeth razor-sharp.
I said, “It’s not about you,” but even I felt the stutter in my heart.
“Sure, Gordo.”
“It’s not.”
“Okay. So you know a lot of wolves that look like me when I shift, then?”
“Asshole,” I muttered as he laughed quietly.
