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It was familiar, like it was right on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t place it. It was a maddening itch I couldn’t scratch.
Ox was watching me. Kelly too.
I didn’t know what they wanted from me.
I said, “What is this place?”
“It’s ours,” Ox said. “The pack’s. Our territory. Many things have happened here. Good and bad.” He looked off into the surrounding trees. “I learned the truth here. About wolves.”
I crouched down to the ground, pressing my hands flat against the grass.
The earth felt alive, but it was foreign. Unknowable.
I stood back up.
Ox said, “I don’t know how to fix you. And for that, I’m sorry. I thought—” He shook his head. “It’s not like it was with the Omegas. Whatever Robert did to you, it’s more than I am.”
Robert. Ezra. Robert. And all at once, it hit me again, a devastating wave of loneliness. I had no one. I had nothing. Everyone was a stranger, even if they thought otherwise. I knew nothing about them. I was a deserted island in a sea of blue.
“Hey,” Kelly said.
I looked over at him.
His brow was furrowed. His nostrils flared from muscle memory. It took him a moment to remember that nothing would come from it. His expression stuttered and shook. It was brief. He tried for a smile and nearly got there. He said, “That doesn’t mean we’re giving up. It’s just… we have to think about it differently. Try to find another way.”
“And what if there’s nothing you can do?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Then we work with what we have. You’re here, Robbie. That’s all that matters.”
It wasn’t enough, and it made me angry. Which is why I said, “Ezra isn’t all bad. Or whatever his name is. I know he’s… he’s done things to you. To all of you. But he was kind to me. He loved me. He told me. He didn’t lie to me about that.”
Kelly and Ox exchanged a look, and I wondered if I’d once been part of it, these secret communications between members of a pack.
“I believe you believe that,” Ox said slowly. “And maybe even part of him did. Or does. I’m not trying to take that away from you.”
“Then what are you doing?” I demanded.
“Going for a walk,” he said easily, as if it were nothing.
He continued on, crossing the clearing, leaving me to stare after him.
“Yeah,” Kelly said as he came to stand next to me. “It’s an Alpha thing. Don’t try to question it. It’ll only make him more insufferable. Joe won’t tell me, but I think part of being an Alpha is learning to be an enigmatic dick.”
“I heard that,” Ox called over his shoulder. He didn’t stop when he reached the edge of the clearing. He crossed into the tree line, hands clasped behind his back.
“His eyes,” I said.
“The violet?”
I nodded.
Kelly dug one of his shoes into the ground. “Weird, right?”
“Werewolf Jesus.”
Kelly snorted. “Carter.” He sighed. “Dumb, but he kind of has a point. Ox is different. He was a human Alpha before Joe had to bite him.”
“How?”
