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“Yes, Robbie, you are. We fucked up. Rage is a fire that burns bright and fierce, but it sucks all the oxygen from the air around it. In the end, it dies. I didn’t expect that. I thought we would storm the compound in Maine. I thought we would force Michelle to stand down and Joe would assume his rightful place as the Alpha of all. If that meant her death, then so be it. But life is funny. We were distracted—I was distracted. That fire continued to burn, but it was already dying. I was still angry, but it felt distant. It didn’t help that we were at one end of the country and Michelle at the other. We put all our resources into fixing what was broken here and spreading the word around to the packs who would listen about what had happened. Some believed us. Some didn’t. Michelle had already begun to fracture the truth, telling those around her who would listen that we’d been infected, that we were a threat to wolves all over the world.”
I tried to reconcile that with the Michelle I thought I knew, and I was troubled when I found it wasn’t difficult at all. I could see her doing just that. I didn’t think her cold, but I knew she could be ruthless.
Ox nodded as if he knew what I was thinking. “I didn’t waste my time on those who wouldn’t believe us. I may come to regret that someday, but I think it’s going to come down to one simple edict. If they’re not with us, then they’re against us. And if they’re against us, then God help them.”
“What are you going to do?”
“We’re working on it,” he said. “Do you remember when I told you that one day I would be asking you about Caswell?”
I could only nod.
“It’ll be soon,” he said. “Things are in motion. Patrice and Aileen were right when they said we don’t stand a chance if we’re not united. But we will be, and the time will come when we will do what we must.”
A chill crawled down my spine, filling me with ice. “There are children in Caswell.”
“I know,” he said simply. “But what I don’t know is what’s happened in Caswell since you left. What Livingstone has done, if anything.”
“He wouldn’t hurt them,” I said, horrified, both at what Ox was implying and the fact that I was so quick to defend a man such as Livingstone.
“You can’t know that,” Kelly said quietly. “Not after what he did to you.” He swallowed thickly, looking away. “Or to me.”
“Michelle might not even be in control anymore, if she ever was,” Ox said. “I don’t know what he has on her or what he promised her, but
he won’t stop.”
“At the bridge,” I said suddenly, thinking hard. “He said….”
What do you think you could do to me? Don’t you see how easy this was for me? No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I will find you, Gordo. And I will take everything until you return what belongs to me.
“What did you take? Me?” I shook my head. “Or Gordo?”
“I don’t know,” Ox said, sounding frustrated. “I don’t know if it’s a person or a thing or a place. He could mean Green Creek, though Gordo doesn’t seem to think so. Too much happened to him here, and even though this is a place of power, I don’t know if that’s what he’s after. But it won’t matter if we’re not together. He’ll find the weaknesses. The cracks between us. And he’ll exploit them.” Ox laid his head back against the tree. “I can’t have that happen. Not again. They were angry, Robbie. After what happened with Chris and Tanner. But when it came down to it, when we found our chance to move on you, every single person in this pack didn’t hesitate. You’re ours. We’re all a little fucked-up, and we make mistakes, but when it counts, we’re together.” He sighed. “I’m just sorry it didn’t happen sooner. You deserved better from me as your Alpha. And as your brother.”
I flung myself at him, and he caught me effortlessly. His hand came to the back of my head as he held me close, whispering in my ear that I was home, home, home, and he would never let me go again. None of them would. He loved me, he loved me, he loved me, and I squeezed my eyes shut, letting it wash over me, that little voice in the back of my head whispering packpackpack.
Eventually I felt together enough to pull away without embarrassing myself further. Kelly was rubbing my back, and I wiped my eyes. He was sniffling too, and I snorted when he sneezed suddenly. I heard footsteps approaching from behind us, but I didn’t look up. I was worried it’d set me off all over again.
“Oh boy,” Tanner said. “I understand now what Rico meant when he said years ago it smells like feelings. This is intense.”
“Good?” Joe asked Ox.
Ox nodded. “We’re getting there, I think.”
Joe jerked his head toward Chris and Tanner. “Hey, Kelly. Can you help me with something back at the house? I probably need Ox’s help too.”
I wondered if anyone had ever told Joe he was subtle. If they had, they were lying.
“Sure,” Kelly said, going along with it like it wasn’t completely obvious what was happening. “I can do that.” He glanced at me. “I’ll see you back at the house?”
I didn’t want him to go. I wanted him to stay and shield me from what was about to happen. But I couldn’t let him do that, even though I was terrified. He squeezed my hand again before he followed Ox and Joe toward the clearing. He looked back at us once, an inscrutable expression on his face. I didn’t know who he was worried for, me or Chris and Tanner. Probably all of us.
“So,” Chris said awkwardly after a long silence. “What’s going on?”
“Jesus,” Tanner muttered. He shoved Chris, who squawked at him. “Way to make things weird.”
“Hey! I’m trying! You do something if you think you’re better than me.”
“Fine,” Tanner said. “I will. Just watch.”
