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“I told you about her.”
He stopped near the curb in front of a small grocery store down the road from the garage. Chris and Tanner hopped out of the back. Rico waved at them to go on. Chris and Tanner exchanged a look before nodding and heading for the store.
Rico switched off the truck. He rubbed a hand over his face as he slumped down on the bench seat. “You did. Weirdly, you told me before you told anyone else. After the whole mess with Richard Collins.” He shook his head. “We were at the garage. It was just the two of us. It was our turn to stay and catch up on all the paperwork. Gordo left us some beers, and it was late. But yeah, you told me.”
“Why you?” I asked. Then, “Shit. I didn’t mean that like it sounded.”
“Oh, thanks,” he said dryly. “That makes me feel better.”
“I swear, I didn’t—”
“I was a little drunk,” Rico said, reaching out the open window to adjust the side mirror. “And you were laughing at me because of it. And then I was laughing because I….” He swallowed thickly. “I liked hearing you laugh. And after everything we’d been through, that entire fucking shitstorm, it was… good. Just to have a moment of peace. To sit back with someone else who understood and just laugh. I don’t even remember how it came up. We were talking about Ox and Joe and their stupid mystical moon magic connection, and then I was telling you about my mom, may she rest in peace. And then you told me about the tree.”
“Quiet as a mouse,” I whispered.
“Yeah, man. That. And the thing she used to tell you. Little wolf, little wolf. And it just started from there, you know? Lobito. You didn’t seem to mind.”
“I don’t. I like it. Coming from you.”
He squinted at me. “But you don’t remember it.”
I shrugged. “No, but I know how it makes me feel now. And if it’s anything like it was then, I think it’s okay. I obviously told you about her because I trusted you.”
He watched me a moment. “But not anymore.”
“I don’t really know anything anymore.”
“Oh Jesus, get that look off your face. Break my heart, why don’t ya?” He narrowed his eyes. “If you’re trying to make me feel sorry for you, it’s not working.”
“I’m not.”
“Goddammit. It’s totally working. Look, Robbie, I….” He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “I’m trying, okay? I really am. I know shit’s fucked-up right now. And I don’t even know what we’re going to face in the days ahead. Hell, we might not even survive whatever’s going to happen.”
“Because it’s going to be you or them.”
“Yeah. It will.” He frowned. “Wait a minute. When I said us or them, that included you. You know that, right?”
I didn’t before. I did now.
He sighed. “And now you’ve got that dopey look on your face. I just can’t with you.” And then he did an extraordinary thing: he reached over and grabbed my wrist. He didn’t squeeze; he didn’t try to hold my hand. He just let his fingers circle the little bones. It was something small, but it felt bigger than the both of us. “I’ll get there,” he said. “I have to, right? Because it’s the only way we’re going to be able to beat them.”
Oh. Fuck, that sucked to hear. That he only considered me part of this, part of this pack, out of necessity.
And then he said, “But also because I want to,” and my breath caught in my chest because he wasn’t lying. His heart remained steady. “I want things to go back to the way they were. I want to be able to look at you without remembering what happened. And maybe that’s stupid. I don’t know if things will ever be the same again, but I miss my fr
iend.”
I had to know. “What if I don’t ever remember? What if I stay as I am now?”
“Then we deal with it. Together. And we remind you of who you used to be. He took you away from us, Robbie. And he took everything that we’d ever been through together. But you’re here, yeah? No matter how strong Michelle is, no matter what control Livingstone had over you, you’re here with us now. And that’s what’s important. I forgot that. And I’m sorry I did. I’m trying, okay? I swear to you I’m trying. Because I know you would do the same for me, no matter what.”
I hugged him.
He grunted as I practically fell on top of him, pushing my face against his chest. And then, wonder of all wonders, he chuckled and patted my back. “Yeah, yeah. You too, lobito. I get it.”
He let it go on for a few more moments before he pushed me away. “Enough of the feelings crap. I get enough of that with Bambi, but don’t ever tell her I said that because I like my balls where they are. Let’s go get what we need for your boy.”
“He’s not my boy—”
