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I couldn’t stop myself.
Kelly spoke.
He said, “Hold on to me.”
He said, “As tightly as you can.”
He said, “I know it hurts.”
He said, “I know what it feels like.”
He said, “But we’ll find him.”
He said, “We’ll find him and bring him home.”
Carter never spoke, but I could feel the sharpness of it along the bonds, though he tried to keep it from us. In these moments, alone with his brother, with his tether, he allowed himself to grieve.
Those nights were few and far between.
We thought he was getting better.
We thought he, like the rest of us, was recovering.
It was the beginning of December before we realized how wrong we were.
It was a Friday, and Gordo was demanding to know why I’d thrown up Christmas all over his garage.
I waited until he was done ranting and raving. I was used to it. He would get all riled up and have a good snit and then would deflate and let me do whatever I wanted.
I just had to wait it out.
“I am drawing the line at the inflatable waving snowman,” he growled at me. “I don’t even want to know how the hell you got it on the roof, but I want it taken down now.”
“Tanner and Chris helped me,” I said, throwing them under the bus without a care in the world.
I ignored their shouts at my betrayal. Outside, flurries fell with the promise of more on the way. We were supposed to get at least eight inches overnight, something that Rico had immediately made dirty to all who would listen until Bambi told him he was going to get eight inches again if he didn’t shut up. He’d closed his mouth immediately. I really didn’t want to know. But Rico was pretty much wrapped around Bambi’s finger, especially now that he’d figured out what that strange smell around her was. They were in the break room, and he was massaging her feet, telling her he was going to be the best daddy, just you wait and see, he was going to rock this shit.
I thought he would too.
But he wasn’t here to save me from Gordo’s wrath.
I had to face it on my own.
“It makes us look more festive,” I countered. “More inviting. Gets more business. As your office manager—”
“That’s not a thing.”
“As your office manager, I made an executive decision in order to brighten the place up. Speaking of, I want to talk to you about painting next year, both interior and exterior.”
Gordo scowled at me as he crossed his arms. “No. And in case you need reminding, we’re the only garage within thirty miles. People come here because they don’t have a choice.”
I snorted. “Jesus. How the hell did you ever survive without me?”
His expression softened, and I knew I had him. “That’s….” He narrowed his eyes. “Are you playing me?”
Goddammit. “Uh. No? I’m just reminding you that last Christmas, I was alone in Maine with your father while the rest of you were here, and how sad I was, even though I didn’t remember any of you, and it’s just so heartbreaking to think—”
He threw up his hands. Well, one hand at least. “Fine. But no more.”
