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“How come?” Robyn sucks on the straw and gives me a curious look before leaning back in to hear me properly. “What’s he like? This Evan guy…?”
“Arrogant, annoying, he doesn’t want to hear anything that I have to say.” I feel like I’m letting out the tension bit by bit as I rant. “He even got annoyed when I turned up instead of Grant and I’m sure it’s because I’m a woman.”
“Yeah, I get all of that. Rich asshole. What I’m asking is what does he look like?”
“Oh.” I purse my lips and shrug. “I guess he’s the typical tall, dark, and handsome type. He certainly seems to have all the women in his office fluttering around him like bees near honey.”
“Ooh, he sounds hot. I like the sound of him.” Robyn shifts playfully in her seat. “Do you think that maybe you might like him?”
“Huh?” My cheeks flame as I even consider the possibility. “Do I like him? No way, I don’t like him at all. He’s horrible. One of the worst people that I’ve ever had to work with.”
“But you just said that he was good looking?”
Much as I really didn’t say that at all, I don’t bother to argue. Not on that point anyway because I know that he is good looking if you don’t consider his personality. If I hadn’t ever spoken to him and I saw him in a place like this, then maybe I would think him handsome. But I do know him and I don’t like him at all. Plus, I don’t think he would ever come to a place like this anyway. He’s the sort of man that would be more comfortable in a high class joint with expensive champagne behind the bar and supermodels dotted around, looking for men to hook up with.
He will probably take one of those supermodels home with him as well. Of course, he will. I mean he is a good looking rich guy, and girls who like that sort of thing don’t care about personality. They just want someone gorgeous with a fit body who knows what they’re doing in the bedroom. He’ll have his hands all over the woman in a second, touching her flushed skin, brushing over her breasts, pushing his firm abs and his thick cock up against her…
God damn it what is wrong with me? I need to get a grip. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been laid in a long time, I haven’t had time to get with anyone so I’m a little bit needy. That’s why there’s a buzzing in my underwear that hasn’t got anything to do with the music, it has nothing to do with the arrogant Evan. I don’t care about him at all.
“I don’t know,” I finally say to Robyn, needing to say something. “I don’t know what I think about him, I’ll just keep my head down and continue going until the partner meeting comes up.”
“But…” Robyn bites down on her bottom lip as if she’s uncomfortable with whatever she’s about to say next. “But what happens if you don’t get it?”
My stomach drops out. I feel a sickness swirling. I keep trying my hardest not to think about that possibility but it’s there all the time. Robyn reminding me on my damn birthday is just a killer move. I know she isn’t trying to be cruel, but that’s the effect that it’s had on me all the same. I just want to shrivel up into a ball and weep like a baby. The thought of my life without that partnership title will be awful. I know I’ve been all brave and tried to consider what it’ll be like if Grant gets the job, but the reality… I don’t know if I can handle it. Can I go back to taking on all the shitty bits of work knowing that I could have been the one dealing it out?
“I don’t know,” I whisper back. “I don’t know what will happen.”
“You’ll survive it, you know that.” Robyn touches my arm softly and gives me a loving smile, supporting me through and through. “You’re strong enough to get through anything.”
“I don’t know about that,” I admit. “I don’t know if I can. I feel like I’ve put so much into this that it’ll kill me if I don’t get it.” Tears ball up behind my eyes, I feel like I could cry at any given moment. “Sorry, I don’t want to get emotional, especially not tonight…”
“You need to dance.” Robyn decides to give up on talking and she grabs onto my arm. “Come on, you need to let go a bit. You’re so tightly wound up, you need to let loose.”
I really don’t want to, but it’s either that or sit in a chair weeping like a baby, in a club on my birthday. Crying over work is sad enough anyway, doing it on my one and only night out in forever, is just plain pathetic. If Evan is going to be out hooking up with supermodels – not that it matters one bit what he’s doing – and Grant is going to be at home with his perfect girlfriend, plotting my demise, then I need to try and have some fun. Enjoy myself before everything goes to shit again.
I let Robyn drag me up until we reach the other group of people then I sway my hips in time to the music. I feel uncomfortable, especially when everyone else looks so carefree, but I stick to it. Luckily, I have some alcohol floating through my system – not too much because I do have to be in the office tomorrow morning to catch up on some work – so I can get over my inhibitions and have some fun. I can dance and enjoy my birthday like a normal person would.
Men dance around us, some of them try to infiltrate our group as we dance, but none of the girls let them for which I’m really glad. I’m having enough of a nightmare dealing with Evan and Grant, the two men currently in my life, I don’t need any more. None of them are attractive enough to catch my eye anyway, not when I’ve spent a whole week with someone who is basically an Adonis.
No, I can’t think about him… I need to concentrate on having fun.
I listen only to the music, forgetting about the world as much as I can, and eventually I sort of manage to have some fun. It isn’t like me at all, but that’s the good thing about this night. I’m stepping out of my shell and doing something completely different. This is what people do, isn’t it? This what all the people who work normal jobs do… they enjoy themselves as much as possible.
“Thank you for this,” I eventually lean in and say to Robyn. “This is the best birthday ever.”
She grips onto my hand and smiles at me. My heart explodes with love for this woman as she does. I’m so lucky to have her, I’m so glad that she’s stuck around for me when no one else has. “I’m glad you’re having a good time. You deserve to have a nice birthday.”
I part my lips, ready to thank her and to say something about her being the best friend ever, but before I get the chance to do so, Jon comes back and he circles his arms around Robyn’s waist, holding her close to him and my chest aches painfully. I am so happy for Robyn, she deserves to find someone nice, but she just reminds me that I still have absolutely no one. I don’t have anyone wanting to hold me, wanting to hug me, wanting to love me.
I’m lonely, I think sadly to myself as I look away. I am really lonely. This suck and the worst part is I want to do something about it, but I just don’t have the time.
Chapter Seven – Evan
&n
bsp; “Goodnight, my big handsome boy,” I say to Liam as I rub his dark hair gently between my finger tips. “I’m glad I got to see you off to sleep tonight.”
“Yeah, I usually miss you at bed time, Daddy. It’s nice to have you here.”
