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Is he going to kiss me? I ask myself as his hands brush my cheeks. Is this really happening? I fall into a trance, the sensation of his hands holding onto my cheeks switching off my brain completely. All I want to do is fall into his embrace, I want him to hold me, I want to know what it’s like to be the girl in his arms, I want to succumb to the temptation that’s been circling between us ever since we first met, I want to do the taboo thing and actually have some fun for once, screw the consequences.
I rise up onto my tip toes as my heart hammers violently against my rib cage. My lips purse without me even thinking about it, getting themselves ready to get the prize and finally kiss Evan…
Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
His cell phone blasts out, interrupting us both, which breaks the magic of the moment completely and causes me and Evan to fall apart as reality creeps back in. We really shouldn’t be this close, we cannot be kissing. His phone ringing actually happened at exactly the right moment then, it stopped us from doing something incredibly stupid. Something we would have regretted for sure.
“I better answer this,”
he says in a shaky tone of voice. “It might be… important.”
Back to the secret phone calls, of course. Just another reason why me and Evan are incompatible. I need these reasons. “Yes, of course, you answer away. I’ll just wait here.”
He steps to the side of a building and he talks quietly into the handset. I don’t listen but I couldn’t hear even if I wanted to. Let him have his crazy secret little life, it’s probably a wife or something equally crazy. The rich asshole types who are sleeping with their secretaries usually do have wives. Instead I use the time to remind myself that me and Evan are in public and we are also working together, so we need to behave as such. We can’t be kissing or even almost kissing, it just isn’t right.
Once Evan comes back to me, he keeps his cell phone pointed in my direction which is strange. During the short time that I’ve spent with him he’s always really weird about his phone, keeping it close to him. Now, I can see a little insight into his life and what I see isn’t expected at all.
“Who’s that?” I ask while pointing to the phone screen. “Who’s that young boy?”
His face pales, he looks a little freaked out by my question which only piques my interest even more. “Oh, well I don’t tell many people about this, because you know, it’s my private life and everything but it’s…” He pauses and breaths deep, seemingly panicking. “He’s my son.”
My heart falls out of my shoes, I don’t know what to think. He has a son? I mean, I know I thought that he might have a wife, but a child…? That’s something else. He’s like an actual family man. All of a sudden, the image I have of him out screwing a different supermodel every night shatters into nothing. Maybe I’ve misjudged him and he isn’t like that at all.
“You have a son?” I ask quietly. “I didn’t know that. I mean, of course I didn’t know that. You’ve just said that you don’t tell anyone… but wow.” I glance up at him, the shock plastered across my face. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m shocked but I am. You have a son.”
“Yeah well,” he shrugs. “I don’t make it obvious to everyone because I want to protect my son. He’s already been through so much in life, with losing his mother.”
“He… he lost his mother?” I feel like I’ve been gut punched. I really did get Evan wrong. Not only does he have a son who he raises single handedly while running a business – well probably with a bunch of nannies, but without a wife – he’s also lost someone that he loved.
“Er, yeah.” He seems uncomfortable, like he’s just realized what he’s said. “She died in a car crash… with my parents in the car too. They were on the way to pick up Victoria’s wedding dress.”
I’m gob smacked. Utterly silence. What am I supposed to say about something like that? I haven’t ever been through something so emotional in my life, I don’t feel like I have any experience to draw upon. “I... I’m so sorry,” I eventually reply lamely, cringing as I speak. “I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have been like. It sounds awful. You must be very brave.”
“I cope,” he replies with a thin smile. “Some days I don’t feel like I am coping, but I try.”
I nod slowly, wondering how I managed to get Evan all wrong. Part of being a lawyer is being able to read people well, it’s about understanding the complexities of the people that I’m working with, but all I’ve done is judge Evan on my very incorrect first impression of him. Because of his money and his attitude, I thought that he was something that he isn’t, and now I feel horrible about myself.
I cock my head to one side, seeing Evan in a totally different light. This is a man who loves his business, who works hard because he has a son to raise alone because the boy’s mother died in the same accident that killed his parents, and he hides all that from the rest of the world.
No wonder he’s been having sex with Ally, I think wryly to myself. He probably needs to blow off some damn steam!
The realization that Evan is actually this incredible guy makes me want to revert back to where we were before when his hands were on my cheeks and we were moments away from kissing. I want to kiss him now, I want all the complications surrounding us to vanish so we can just be to ourselves but of course that isn’t ever going to happen.
Damn it, now I like him even more. This is such a mess.
“We, erm, we should probably get going, right?” I ask with a bright, fake smile on my face. “We have a lot of work to do, right?”
Evan looks disappointed, but he nods. “Sure, yes, we do. Lots of work to do.” He grabs onto my arm to stop me, before we can make it to the office. My breath hitches in my throat as I think he might be about to give me what I so desperately want… but then he talks instead. “Please don’t tell anyone what I told you, about my son I mean. I don’t want that to become common knowledge.”
“No, of course I won’t,” I reassure him rapidly. “Your secret is safe with me.”
It feels nice to have a secret for just me and Evan, it builds our bond even tighter. What we don’t have is a sexual thing, but we do have something else. Something that I hope might even be better… maybe.
Chapter Eleven – Evan
“Evan, are you even listening to me?” Ally sounds frustrated as she demands this. “I’m trying to discuss work with you but it’s like you’re on another planet entirely.”
“Hmm, what?” I try and drag myself out of my thoughts and back into the present moment. I’m sure whatever Ally is saying to me is important, but I just can’t stop myself from drifting off. It’s driving me crazy. Ever since that lunch with Katy where things very nearly got out of control between us, and then I opened myself up to her more than I have done to anyone else… I just haven’t seen her. I don’t know what to think. I’m so damn confused. “Sorry, I am listening, I’m just… struggling.”
