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“And you love your job?” For what feels like the first time, I ask him a personal question.
“I do.” He nods slowly. “It’s something that I’ve always wanted to do, to help other people. It’s what all my education and training was about. I like the center, I think it runs well.”
I like hearing these thing
s about him, it feels even better than going to a bar. I suppose that’s something I can do any time, this is a once in a life time thing. “I see. And how old are you now?”
My heart thumps as I wait for an answer. This is something that I have absolutely no idea about and I’m pretty terrified of the answer. Whatever it is, he’s too old for me. Probably.
“Twenty-four,” he says without looking in my direction. “Just. Last month actually.”
“Last month? You never said anything.” I don’t know why I’m surprised. In the five years, I’ve been at the center we’ve never really celebrated or talked about anyone’s birthday. I suppose that’s good really because my birthday is the anniversary of my life changing forever. “Happy birthday.”
Logan laughs, a sound that’s full of mirth. “Thank you, a bit late but thanks.”
“Did you do anything exciting?” I imagine him at a glamorous dinner party, surrounded by all his closest friends and family. He’s such a nice man he must have lots of people in his life.
He shifts a bit uncomfortably in his seat. “I actually just went to a bar. It was very dull.”
It wasn’t. I can tell, but I don’t push him on it. There must be a reason why he doesn’t want to talk about it, and it’s probably because he doesn’t want me to ask about going out again. Not that I even want to now, I want to remain here, talking to Logan, dissecting him.
“Did your wife not take you out?” Oh God, I don’t know why I even asked that! I didn’t think before I spoke and now Logan’s eyes are almost bugging out of his head.
“I’m not married, I’m too young to be married. I don’t even have a girlfriend.”
I don’t know which part to focus on most, the idea that he thinks he’s too young to be married, which puts him in a similar category to me, or the idea that he’s definitely single now. He doesn’t have anyone to love him, which is a tragedy. What the hell is wrong with all the women his age?
“Oh well I don’t have a boyfriend either,” I say with a smirk, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. “And that’s something I don’t think will change any time soon.”
“You say that now, but I bet it does,” Logan replies quietly. “A beautiful girl like you will have men lining up to be with you. You just have to be careful not to pick the bad ones.”
He thinks I’m beautiful? My hands curl around my chest as I swim in those delicious words. Logan Banker, the most handsome man on the planet, thinks I’m beautiful.
He’s someone who must know what real beauty is as well, so the fact that he’d even say that to me is massive. It makes me feel really damn good about myself. There’s a tiny part of me that actually feels beautiful for just a second, and it’s a wonderful sensation.
“Right, well we’re here now.” Logan turns to look at me with a depth to his gaze. “Back to normal, I suppose.”
“Will you be around tomorrow?” I know that he won’t but I have to ask. I don’t know if I can go a whole day without seeing him now. I feel addicted to him. “Or Monday?”
“Monday,” he replied decisively. “Yeah, I won’t be back until Monday now, but I’ll see you then for our usual appointment okay?”
It isn’t enough, I know I’ll go crazy before then but I don’t have a choice. I have to agree because right now things need to be on the terms of the adults. It doesn’t matter though, I’ll official be an adult too and everything will be just fine.
“Okay.”
Chapter Eleven – Logan
Shit, shit, shit. I hit the gas pedal fast and burn along the road rapidly because I need to get away from the center. That was the hardest day of my whole life and I don’t know what to do with myself. Being around Pru in a more natural environment was torture. Out in the real world she’s like just another adult. Especially when she starts talking about crazy things such as going to a bar.
Oh, and that sentence, the killer sentence: I guess I want to experience every single side of life and I want someone to support me with that. Someone I trust. Someone like you…
Her words circle through my mind, feeling like they’re about sex. I don’t know if that’s how she intended her statement to be taken, but that’s how it made me feel inside. It must be because of that dream I had where she was begging me to teach her how to please a man, that’s all. She’s too sweet, too innocent, the ‘never been kissed’ type. There’s no way she really meant that.
“Fucking hell!” I mutter as I slam my hands against the steering wheel. “Fuck!”
I need a distraction, I need my usual weekend of blowing off steam, but this time it’s for a completely different reason. It isn’t because I’ve had a harrowing, stressful week, it’s because I think I might explode. I’m so fucking hard it’s killing me. I can’t give my erection to the person who it’s for, so someone else will have to get it. I need to find someone random and willing, any girl in a bar.
I pull up the car at my apartment building but I don’t bother to go inside. There’s nothing for me there, not even Roxy lives in there anymore. I slam the door shut and head to the bar just around the corner. I don’t normally go there because it’s too close to home, but tonight I’m too impatient to wait. I need to be there now, I need to block everything out with booze.
