AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Her skinny jeans and tee shirt look really nice on her, they cling tightly to her frame, showing off her lovely womanly figure. She rocks her body side to side, showing that she isn’t totally comfortable in her skin yet, but that’ll come. She’s still millions better than she once was.
“Of course, you are.” I roll a box around in my pocket containing her birthday present. I wanted to find the right time to give it to her but now I think I might have left it too late. I can’t do it now in case someone walks in and thinks it’s weird. Instead, I’ll have to just be the asshole that got her nothing. “Moving day, birthday, happy birthday by the way, saying goodbye to here. Crazy!”
Tears fill her eyes but to her credit she remains strong enough to keep them in. “Yeah, I know, I’ve been waiting for this for ages but now that it’s here it feels all mental and odd.”
My body language softens which makes me realize just how tense my shoulders have been up until this point. She needs some advice from me, I need to be the man I’m supposed to be. “I know it does, but you do know that you’ll be fine, don’t you? You do know that you have what it takes.”
I step closer to her with my arms outstretched as if I’m going to embrace her or something, but I think better of it at the last moment and I drop them awkwardly back by my sides again.
“Maybe afterwards,” she says with a sorrowful smile. “It isn’t the right time.”
Luckily, I didn’t hug her because at that moment, other people fill the room. Kids, staff members, even some of the teachers who are only here a few hours a week. They’ve all come to say farewell to Pru without really knowing who she is. Sure, they’ve seen her a lot during the last five years but they haven’t spoken to her and gotten deep into her psyche. Not like me. I know her better than the lot of them. I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing, it doesn’t make me feel good right now.
Noise fills the room, there’s so much chatter and laughter that my brain aches. It’s all like bees buzzing noisily around me, driving me to distraction, when all I want to do is look at her. I just want to watch Pru, to enjoy these last few minutes with her before she’s stripped from my life completely.
The festivities begin, although admittedly they’re a little meagre. We half-heartedly sing happy birthday, most of us too afraid to upset the ones who had bad stuff happen to them on their birthdays – which to be honest is most of them – then we all say nice things about Pru to see her off. Most people’s comments are a bit inane and don’t really mean anything, but some of the things are really nice. I hope she takes the comments on board and uses them to give her confidence.
“Mr. Banker?” Leah says with a wicked, knowing smile. “What about you?”
“Hmm?” I glare back, annoyed at being disturbed. “What do you mean what about me?”
“What do you have to say to Prudence? You know, as a goodbye message.”
Shit, I got so involved in watching this like a performance I almost forgot that I’m here myself. I can feel my body heating up shamefully, making Leah laugh out loud as if she knows something.
“Oh well, Pru…dence.” I don’t know why, but it feels weird to call her the nickname I give her in front of everyone else. No one else shortens her name I’ve noticed. “It’s going to be a different place without you here. But I, as I’m sure everyone else here does, wish you well in the future. Get out there and kick some ass.” I make a lame, embarrassing fist bump which is awful.
There’s a silence for a few moments while everyone looks at me like I’m a bit mad, but luckily before it can get really awkward, Hank brings out a slice of cake for everyone giving everyone else something else to talk and think about. I take the moment of distraction to race into the bathroom to catch my breath again. I need a moment away from all the madness to collect myself together.
You’re an idiot, I tell myself as I stare at my slightly blurry reflection in the mirror. A fool! Why are you getting so worked up and insane? I have reasoned with myself enough times that this madness I’m going through is all going to end today, I don’t have much longer to hold it together, so why the hell can’t I just do it? Just… be cool. I check my watch. Not long now.
By the time I go back into the room, Pru is already gathering up her things to leave, so no one bothers to even look my way. There’s a stinging sensation in my nose, I feel quite emotional, but for the moment I push that to one side. I can fall apart later if that’s what I need to do.
“Bye, Prudence!” everyone says to her at the door as she starts to walk out towards the car. She looks small and scared, but I’m sure that’ll go once she gets away from here. “See you soon!”
I wish everyone else would vanish so I could share this moment alone with Pru. I want to wrap my arms around her, to freeze the moment so I’ll have something to keep me going, but of course I can’t. I have to hang around at the back of the crowd and just wait very impatiently. This is killing me, since I can’t do what I want to, I need it all just to be over.
As she walks out the door, I take a step right back from everyone and I type out a bit of a desperate email on my phone, giving Pru my cell phone number if she needs it. It’s probably the dumbest thing that I’ve ever done, but it’s gone now. It’s been sent out into cyberspace for her to do with what she wants. Maybe she won’t even see it, who knows…
Right, time to let go completely, I think half-heartedly as I drop my phone back into my pocket. Time to get my life back on track.
Chapter Fourteen – Prudence
This isn’t how I thought it was going to be, I think sadly as I curl my knees up around my chest., trying to make myself as small as possible. I should have come earlier I don’t know why I waited.
I liked the idea of spending my last day surrounded by the people I’ve grown up with through the last five years, I guess I got a little nostalgic towards the end. I also didn’t want to spend my birthday alone. I thought it’d be better to just get to my new life started by getting to sleep and starting fresh in the morning… but that’s before I got here and realized how terrifying it is to be by myself in this apartment at night time. In the day, with Logan and the realtor by my side, it didn’t seem so bad, but now it’s horrible. It’s freaky, there are sirens running by the place all the time, I can hear the couple in the apartment next door arguing really loudly, and bangs all the time.
It’s terrifying, I’m definitely not ready for this. I want to leave so damn badly it hurts.
I keep rubbing my thumb over my hand where I’ve written Logan’s cell phone number. I spent a little bit of time in an Internet café earlier and I got his email, but I haven’t done anything about it yet. Right now, I’m doing everything that I can to stop myself from calling him because I want to be an adult. I don’t want to be a scared little child who cannot cope alone. But I want him. I hate this and I want to have him by my side. I’m never g
oing to be able to get any sleep.
Stop it, I scold myself while pushing myself up into a standing position and pacing up and down the room. This is madness. I can do this, of course it’s scary on the first night but that doesn’t mean that I should just give up. This is my chance to be brave and strong, to prove myself.
I wander over to the tiny window I have which looks down onto someone’s bins below. It isn’t the sweeping view of the city sky line that you see in movies, but it’s mine. I can appreciate what I have. At least now I have my own bedroom and my own view, I’m not stuck in a room with Leah being utterly obnoxious, and the other kids snoring loudly. It’s not silence, but it’s quieter.
I move back over to the sofa bed and attempt to lie back down again. I’m not giving myself much hope of drifting off because I’m in my clothes. I don’t think I’m ready to change it my pajamas until I’m one hundred percent that I won’t have to get up and run at a moment’s notice.
