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“No, no.” I shake my head, needing to say anything to get me out of this room. “It’s fine. I’m okay. I’ll be fine now.”
Then I leave at the speed of light without looking back. Being out there in the scary swamp is preferable to being in here with him. The touch was innocent, I know that, but still I hate it. It reminds me of far too much.
Chapter Nineteen – Logan
It feels good to get home from work a little early, now that I don’t have anything to hang around for. It makes me realize just how much extra time I wasted at the center before, hoping for a chance to see Pru. Now I don’t need to, because I can see her here when she finally gets back.
Thankfully, because no one has found out anything about me and Pru – which is hardly surprising since we’re being so damn careful – I can relax about it. I can simply enjoy it for what it is. Me and her, having a nice, innocent friendship until she eventually moves out. Today, with it being the first day of her new job, I know we’re on the first step to that which is good because she looks utterly irresistible in her uniform. It was such a struggle to keep away from her this morning. If she’s around all the time looking like that, I might just forget who the hell I am, who we both are.
Still, I need to do something nice for Pru, I need to make her feel good, to celebrate today. She’s taken a bit step today and that deserves a celebration. I can’t do anything too fancy, but I suppose I could make her dinner. It isn’t much, but that’s nice enough, isn’t it? She’ll like it, I’m sure.
I whistle to myself as I grab the ingredients out the cupboard to make us both a nice meal. It feels good to cook for two rather than one, which isn’t something I thought I would ever feel. It makes me want to put in a bit more effort to do something nice rather than easy. I guess the quick easy meals are just a staple part of the bachelor life, and something I’ll be back to soon…
“Hey!” I turn as I hear Pru’s voice as she lets herself in. She needs the key to come and go at different times to me so this isn’t surprising. “Logan, are you home yet”?
“Yeah, I’m in the kitchen.” I wait impatiently for her to come and join me. “So, how was it? How was the big first day? Did you have lots of fun? Did you sell lots of stuff…?”
My enthusiasm wanes as her face falls, instantly I feel like I’ve said the wrong thing. This is supposed to be a positive thing, a celebration, not something that she looks so sad about.
“It was okay,” she replies cagily. “It’s tired me out though, I didn’t expect the day to feel so long.” She takes a seat at the dining table and looks at her hands. “But yeah, it was fine.”
“You do realize that I know when you’re lying to me?” I say slowly. “I’ve spent the last five years talking to you, and not all of it’s been the truth. This isn’t the truth now.”
Pru doesn’t answer me, instead she pushes out her chair and she storms from the room into the spare bedroom. The door doesn’t quite slam behind her, but it doesn’t shut quietly either. She’s clearly very upset and I know that I need to give her time to come around. So, I don’t push her, I don’t walk in after her and demand that she tells me what’s going on because I know it’ll make her shut down. Instead I give her time while I continue on with cooking dinner.
Eventually, just as I put the plates on the table and I’m ready to call her out to eat, she emerges in much more comfortable clothing. A tight-fitting tank top and sweat pants, which make her look almost as incredible as she did i
n her work uniform. Maybe even more so.
“Sorry about that,” she mutters quietly. “I just had a really bad day, that’s all.”
“It wasn’t what you were expecting?” I sit down and indicate for her to do the same. I’m not going to make a big fuss about dinner anymore. “What happened? Tell me about it.”
She sighs and joins me at the table. Pru picks up her fork and she digs in to the food, barely even looking at me as she does. “I was just out of my depth, that’s all. I didn’t know what to do. I mean, the boss gave me a big speech about closing sales and stuff, but I didn’t listen. I was too busy…”
“You shouldn’t have to learn all that stuff right away! The boss must understand that,” I insist.
“No, he wasn’t bad or anything, I just… I was too busy hoping that I could make friends to think about it and then I got all panicky about it and I couldn’t breathe for a moment. I had to go out in the back and… well, it got all weird and I think I’ve made a terrible impression.”
My heart goes out to her all over again. She’s trying her hardest, pushing herself in ways that she probably didn’t think was possible, and now one set back has her all messed up. I feel like storming down to that store and explaining to her boss myself… but I know that isn’t wise. That’ll make me seem like her dad or something, which is all kinds of wrong. I also don’t want to make her stand out more than she already does, just for being beautiful and different.
“Have you already forgotten all the self-confidence tricks we talked about?” I ask her with a bright smile, trying to make it feel like less of a big deal to her. “Was I that forgettable?”
“No, I know the breathing, I remember the posture, and the ‘fake it til you make it’. But it’s impossible to do out of the office. I can do it with you, but not in the real world…”
“The most important thing that you need to do is keep your head clear, because once your brain clouds up, things become impossible.” I stare at her intently, wondering if my words are going in. “Did you remember to keep your head clear or did you instantly start worrying about things out of your control?” When she doesn’t answer me, I know that I’ve hit the nail on the head. “Well then of course things got difficult. I bet they got a little easier once the day went on though, right?”
She pauses and bites down on her bottom lip. “Yeah, I suppose so. The morning was worst.”
“Well there you go then!” I toss my hands in the air in celebration. “Everyone struggles in the beginning, whenever anyone starts a new job. This isn’t abnormal. I think you put far too much pressure on yourself. Just keep taking each day as it goes and eventually it won’t seem so bad.”
Pru nods slowly, finally taking at least some of my words in. “I hope you’re right.”
We continue to eat in silence, and as we do I examine her from where I sit. She’s washed off her make up, I didn’t realize it until now. It doesn’t make her look child-like anymore though, there’s a knowledge to her face that makes her look adult. She’s absolutely gorgeous.
“Do you want a desert?” I ask as I stand up. “I have some ice cream or cake if you’d prefer.”
As I stroll past Pru, I rest my hand reassuringly on her shoulder for just a second. I intend it to be just a brief moment to let her know that I’m there, I do expect it to be anything else, but Pru shocks me by clapping her hand over mine and holding it there. She glances down at it there on her bare skin as if it holds some answers for her. I want to ask Pru what’s going on in her mind, but I don’t. I let her stare, I allow her to work out whatever it is. Clearly, it’s something she needs.
