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“No.” I shake my head determinedly. “You’re getting into my head, but I can’t. I have Patrick, we’re committed to one another. Just because our level of commitment might not be the same as other people doesn’t make us wrong. We’re happy, we’re content. I don’t intend to shake that up just because Zane is back. He screwed me over once, he’s more than capable of doing it again. Even if he did say sorry…”
“He said sorry?” Oh God, I should have known that Mandi would leap on that. “Oh wow, that’s huge. For a guy like that to apologize for his behavior, that’s massive. That must mean…” She spots the daggers that I’m shooting her way. “But it doesn’t matter what it means because you are already very happy. Sorry. I know that you just told me that, I should be a bit more respectful, I don’t mean to look like I don’t understand your choices, I’m just trying to let you know that you aren’t stuck. There are other options out there…”
I breathe out a sigh, one that should be of relief but I don’t know really. I feel deflated, like a balloon that’s been let down. I was all fired up because of Zane and now I’m just back to feeling a little empty over him. In a weird way, it’s always just been terrible timing between us. Maybe if things had been different, we could actually try and now see. But they aren’t and I need to accept that.
“Urgh, Mandi, just get me some chocolate, will you? I’m dying over here.” I decide to turn things around to something a little jokier instead. That’s easier than delving head first back into the days of being a teenager when I was obsessed with the guy that I couldn’t have. “And something to drink. A coffee, if you don’t mind.”
As she leaps up to get me what I want, I smile thinly at Mandi. I bet inside she’s being driven crazy. After five years, the name ‘Zane’ shouldn’t even be crossing my lips again, but I have a feeling that I’m not going to be able to stop talking about him again for a very long time. Not until I escape him completely, whenever that might be, however I can make that happen…
Chapter Sixteen – Zane
Walking through the door into Kings does give me that feeling of coming home that I hadn’t had before. The smell of the place, the buzzing atmosphere, the familiar faces all gives me a warm sensation in my chest. It’s good. I start to regain that part of me that I let go some time in the last five years. I’m back, baby, truly.
“I’ll get the drinks in,” I tell Brandon and Jenny with a smirk. “You go and take a seat.”
They do, with their arms sickeningly wrapped around one another. I thought that it wouldn’t bother me to come out with the pair of them together as the third wheel, but to be honest the more that time goes by, the harder it is. I’m not used to Brandon being with anyone, back in high school no girls got close enough to actually be his girlfriend because he was more concerned with taking care of his family, so this loving side of him is too much. I just need a break, a moment to see what other people I can spend some time talking to.
Maybe I’m jealous because I don’t have that, I think, trying to be honest with myself. Maybe I want to be in a relationship myself. Or maybe it’s just because I want to hang out with Brandon alone…
“Oh my God!” a high pitched, squeaky voice grabs my attention. “Is that you, Zane Morris?”
I turn to see a vaguely familiar female smiling back at me. I know that I know her, I can tell we’re acquainted in some way or another, but I’m not totally certain how. I guess that’s something I’ll just have to work out.
“Oh, hi… how’s it going?” I offer her a wide smile before I turn on the charm offensive so I can find out what I need to know. “It’s been such a long time, I’m just trying to remember people…”
“It’s Sally. We were in high school together. I was a cheerleader in a couple of classes below you, but we wer
e always at the same parties.” Ah, it’s starting to come back to me a bit now. “But it isn’t just me. I’m here with someone that you’re very familiar with.” She pauses for a moment, allowing anticipation to build. “Rosa!” She leans behind her and yells. “Rosa, get over here, girl. You will never guess who I’ve just run into.”
Oh shit, Rosa. The one person who I hoped would have skipped town a long time ago. I remember the last time I saw her, at Brandon’s party right after my secret hook up with Leah, when she came in and started yelling a whole bunch of crazy stuff at me. I wonder if she still hates me after all this time. Maybe I should run.
“Oh, Zane.” Rosa looks pissed the moment that she sees me, but as she defiantly runs her hands over her stomach I know that she can’t still hold a candle for me at least. Not if that pregnant belly is anything to go by! “I thought we managed to get rid of you five years ago, but here you are…”
I rub the back of my neck awkwardly. “Yeah, so did I but I guess here I am, back again.”
I half expect another tirade of abuse to come my way, but thank God it seems that Rosa has finally learned to let go because she gwarfs out a laugh and pats me hard on the back. “Everyone leaves, they all think that the grass is greener on the other side, but all of them come crawling back because this is the best place in the world.”
I don’t know about that, I’m not sure that’s the reason I returned. I guess I just wanted to be back with all my old friends and in a place, I know well. I could have stayed in California, but I always would have had that urge to come and restart the life that I was ripped from without much warning. Just to see what it can be.
“Yeah, I guess so,” I laugh weakly. “Would you girls like something to drink?”
I order them both something and stay talking to them for a while. Now that I know Rosa is okay with me, it’s nice to catch up. Plus, I keep getting glimpses of Brandon and Jenny giving each other the googly eyes and it’s sending a shiver up and down my spine. I don’t want to sit there and watch that, I just can’t.
“I just have to go to the bathroom for the hundredth time,” Rosa eventually declares with an eye roll. “I’ll be back in a moment. Zane, you look after my Sally. She’s a legend. Don’t let any skeevy guys talk to her.”
“Yes, Madam.” I give Rosa a mock salute. “I will do what I can. Don’t have the baby while you’re in there.”
“What baby?” As she says this dead seriously, I feel my heart drop. She hasn’t actually talked about being pregnant and I’ve heard about people having it mistaken before. Maybe she’s just gained a lot of weight in one place and I’ve just really put my foot in it… “Oh my God, look at you, you’re a mess.”
Rosa walks away laughing, probably glad to put me in my place again, but as she swings her arm up I get a glimpse of the snake still there. The tattoo from when she was crazy for me. I wonder how she’s explained that away to whoever she ended up with. I’m pretty sure that my name never came up at all!
“You know, we never hooked up in high school,” Sally shocks me by declaring suddenly, the moment we’re alone. “Back then, I was way more into Brandon, but now I think I was wrong. I think I should have been into you the whole time. You have a real…” She runs her eyes up and down me, eating me. “Sexiness to you.”
“Oh.” She has me shocked, I’ll be honest. I haven’t had anyone be so forward with me in a very long time. I need to regain myself quickly before I wind up looking foolish. “Well, we were young then. I suppose we all made mistakes. I can’t believe I never tried it on with you anyway, just to get back at Brandon.”
“You never really tried it on with anyone,” she replies slowly while circling the straw in her glass. “Not that I can remember anyway. All the girls just threw themselves at you so you didn’t need to try.”
Actually, I think that she might be right. There’s only one girl I can remember ever trying with and that’s the one who stuck in my mind and would crop up every so often, no matter where I’ve been.
