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When he finished shuddering, Brian realized Sway might need to breathe, too. He eased out of him, Sway not making a sound. Brian tried to see his face but it was partially smashed into the pillow. Sweetbaby? Brian turned onto his side to face Sway, tapping on his shoulder. When he pulled his face out, he wore the same look as him, but with a lot more awe.
‘You okay?’ Brian mouthed, holding Sway close, watching his blown pupils. Sway’s eyebrows dipped, and oh so slowly, one of his hands shakily came up and touched Brian’s mouth.
Brian smiled against his warm fingertips, kissing them gently.
Sway swallowed hard, his glimmering eyes fixed on his face. He took his other hand and laid it over the jagged scars along Brian’s throat, a faint tremor in his touch. Sway blinked at Brian, then whispered in a voice that sounded full of love and anguish, “Brian, you… you called out my name.”
“Brian, you… you called out my name.”
Brian just stared at Sway for a long time. He wouldn’t fuck with him like that, this wasn’t some twisted, ass-backwards joke. Sway had tears in his eyes. He seemed confused and surprised but most of all he looked ‘in-love’, and that’s what had Brian torn up inside. He hadn’t heard anything, he didn’t feel anything.
That’s a lie. He’d felt a lot. Too much. He’d been overloaded with sensations and feelings. Brian shook his head, trying to really process what Sway was saying, but Brian knew he was mistaken. He wouldn’t be the first one to confuse Brian’s harsh breaths as whispered words.
Brian was scared to open his mouth in that moment so when he signed his lips were sealed tight. “You might’ve thought you heard it.”
Sway slowly shook his head, “I heard it, baby. Right before I came.”
Well there you go. A man’s not in his right mind when his orgasm hits. When a man ejaculates, he can think he saw heaven’s pearly gates open wide for him. All that’s felt is nirvana. “I was breathing hard. Really hard.” Brian fought to convince him.
Sway looked devastated.
Brian closed his eyes in disappointment. Was Sway just waiting on Brian to speak? Was Sway not as accepting of his mutism as he’d thought? Please, not again.
Sway shook his head then his hands were on Brian’s cheeks. “Hey. It’s okay. Maybe you’re right. I did come harder than I ever have before. I probably heard my own voice.” Sway’s bottom lip trembled. He was a terrible liar.
“You good, B? You seem a bit distracted this morning.” Dana was turned around facing Brian in the backseat. His eyes traveled down to his boots. “Is it the ankle?”
Brian gave him a ‘don’t insult me’ look and turned back towards the window. He felt his brother’s eyes on him in his rearview mirror, but he didn’t engage. Was something wrong? Hell yes. Brian’s mind went right to where it had been five seconds ago.
He and Sway had held each other most of the evening and into the night. No more conversations were had. When Sway had left about five in the morning, neither of them had slept a wink. Sway seemed exhausted and dejected. Brian didn’t like sending him home that way but he needed some time to process what Sway had tried so adamantly to get him to believe. He remembered mouthing Sway’s name, like he did the other night too. This was no different.
Sway was just emotional. He was dealing with shit at work, so he must’ve been overwhelmed and hallucinating. Brian clenched his teeth. Or, maybe, he just didn’t want to accept it as truth. Because if he did, everyone would be pressuring him about doing it again. Trying to force the speech out of him… again.
If Sway was waiting for Brian to speak, he hated to think that over time he’d disappoint him when he didn’t. And, Sway would leave. Brian coughed and cleared his throat. It was a devastating thought… a crippling one. His brother’s dark gaze darted up to him again. Brian ignored it, trying to regulate his breathing. He couldn’t panic. Sway wasn’t going anywhere. Last night was just a misunderstanding.
Or not.
Brian gulped and tried to breathe in… he couldn’t. Fuck! Brian gripped his throat, his eyes widening. Calm down. Calm down. Breathe, one, two… Brian tried to take in more air, but his tongue felt thick, like a blockade. Brian closed his eyes and opened his mouth, working his throat but nothing happened. No sound.
He knew Sway had been wrong. I can’t fuckin talk!
Brian’s body jerked roughly in the back seat, then he registered the sound of rubber skidding on asphalt. His door was yanked open and his brother was in his face.
“Brian. Brian, listen to me.” Ford’s grip on the sides of his head was painful and grounding at the same time. “Breathe through this. You know what to do.”
