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I just didn’t know any of the things that I should’ve known. That I would’ve known if I weren’t suspended. I knew that technically I was at fault and I deserved the suspension, but the part of me that knew the ins and outs of the hospital boardroom, knew that it wasn’t fair punishment. Had it been any other doctor, but Sam, it would’ve been a harsh talking to and a slap on the wrist.
So, I was fully aware that most of this was absolute bullshit.
Which meant that after a week and a half I was ready to tuck my tail between my legs and formally apologise. Anything to just get back to the frontline.
I hadn’t forgotten the conversation I’d had with Doctor Miller, or her offer. But she probably had forgotten about me because I hadn’t heard anything more from her. She probably realised that I didn’t have that je ne sais quoi that she had. That special something that she could see in me that resonated with her. That made me a reminder of a younger her.
So yeah, I was more than ready to be very sorry and get back to doing what I loved. Even if it meant missing out on the girls’ music lessons.
I had my fake apology all figured out and memorised, I’d even booked a meeting with Rupert, but…
It wasn’t meant to be.
I resigned myself to it. I’d made peace with it. Well, maybe that’s taking it too far because making peace with it was really impossible. Sam was humiliating me again. She’d slept with my husband during my pregnancy and after it. She was still sleeping with my husband when I found out I was pregnant again. Apologising to her was like saying that it didn’t matter that she’d done that. It was like saying it was okay.
It wasn’t.
Which is why I skipped the meeting with Rupert the minute Doctor Miller asked me to meet her, when I should’ve been meeting him instead.
At first, I felt a little guilty for wasting his time, but I wasn’t even getting paid to say sorry to his…lover? Whore? Bit on the side? Whatever Sam was to him.
So, I met with Shohreh instead, and it went well. It went so well that by the time we were done I had my resignation written and ready to send in my head.
I was going to learn from someone I never even thought I’d get to refer to on a first name basis. I was going to learn things that were new and untried—game changing. But most importantly I was going to help people that needed my help. What I hadn’t heard a lot about was how this amazing woman volunteered her time and talent to helping those that couldn’t ordinarily afford it. She set up grants and started foundations, and she was giving me the opportunity to learn, help and save alongside her.
And I was going to take it.
I’d already talked it through with Jamie and he’d told me to go with my gut, to go with my heart. He told me not to overthink and mistake selflessness with naïveté. He told me to think of everything I could learn and then of all the future possibilities. He was right, I didn’t have to stay at the clinic forever. I could take my experience and use it elsewhere, in another hospital where the patients paid with their taxes and not by the hour or procedure.
I’d left The Children’s Hospital with a flaming rocket up my arse after signing some provisional paperwork. I’d picked Pippa, Molly and Daniel up from school and gone straight home. I knew Jamie was in surgery till late, so he wouldn’t want a proper meal before he went to bed which meant the kids and I could eat cheesy, buttery pasta for dinner. I’d like to say that it was for the kids, but it was my favourite comfort dish. It was easy. It was quick. It was delicious.
By the time he came through the door both of the girls were tucked in bed and Dorian had left with Daniel. As I peered over the back of the sofa he had the biggest smile on his face and a nice looking bottle of red in his hands.
“I came ready to celebrate!” He handed me the bottle and leant over the top of my head to give me one of his warm kisses.
“What are we celebrating?”
He quirked his brow at me, “I had the best conversation with Rupert today. Something about how he was gutted he was losing one of his most promising members of staff.”
I laughed at the way he rolled his eyes. My tummy somersaulting and my smile impossible to dim.
“He said that?”
“Too right he did.” He kissed the tip of my nose before he disappeared back into the kitchen.
I was a little disappointed that he’d managed to talk to Jamie but hadn’t emailed me back. I’d been waiting for what felt like forever for his response and it hadn’t come.
Maybe he was waiting for me to go back next week?
“He also gave me this.” He handed me a white envelope with Ms. Q. Cavendish scrolled across it in his PA’s ancient handwriting. “I wanted to get you some flowers, but as it turns out all the good florists that sell anything other than Lilies and Carnations close early.”
He put the glasses on the coffee table with the corkscrew and lifted my legs as he sat down.
I was itching to open that envelope.
He pulled the knot of his tie and popped open his top two buttons. His sleeves already rolled over his strong forearms.
“Aren’t you going to open it?” He asked casually as he ran his thumbnails up the arch of my foot.
