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Leaving the old church, I walk to my car and head back to Cassie’s side. Somewhere along the way I actually believe that the priest’s prayers will work. I allow myself to think that we’re not alone in this, but that all fades when I sit beside her again.
Every time I look at her, she looks smaller in that bed. Cassie looks like she’s disappearing in front of me.
Come on, Little Queen. Open those beautiful eyes.
Open them for me. For me, Cass. Let me see you, baby.
If my prayers to God won’t be answered maybe my pleas to her will.
“Don’t make me say goodbye to you too. I can’t do it. Don’t you understand? I can’t do this on my own. I need you.”
Kissing and nipping at the heel of her hand, I squeeze her fingers tighter.
“I’m stuck on you, Buttercup, forever. I can’t do forever without you.”
Taking the crucifix from my pocket, I wrap it around her wrist before I toe off my trainers and lie beside her. I hold her hand as I turn to her and watch her breathe. Her plump lips are dry again and when I turn her face to mine, licking my lips I press them to hers.
I don’t move. I just hold on to her, savouring her every breath as it fills my lungs. I’m so tired and it’s so quiet, that I can’t help but close my eyes.
Maybe I’ll dream of her and her smiles again. Maybe forever won’t be a hopeless prayer…
Chapter 40
Cassandra
I’m aching and burning. It’s so hot, and it feels so strange because all I remember is the cold and darkness. Chilly water slowly freezing in my veins with every pound of my lazy heart.
But now it’s so bright that my eyes hurt when I try and open them. It’s never been this hard to wake up, and I really want to.
My body is heavy, and I can’t remember how to move. I need to move.
Why can’t I do anything?
I’m so tired and so hot. My throat and eyes are burning and my chest is sore.
“Cassie?”
Fire fills my eyes and trails down my face.
“Wake up, Leo!”
It feels too early to wake up. I’m still tired.
“Cassie, sweetheart?”
My throat vibrates with my groan and although I want to turn over and go back to sleep my body feels stuck. The heaviness pushes through the sleepiness until I have no choice but to open my eyes.
“Oh Jesus!” I can barely make out my mother’s blur as she leans over me. “You’re awake!”
Pounding with her every word, my head feels like it might explode.
God, why is my neck so sore?
“Leo, get up! She’s awake!” Leaning over me she jostles the bed, and my whole body protests. “Don’t cry. Shhh…don’t cry.”
“Buttercup?”
That’s the only voice I need to hear, turning my head, I blink until I can see his face. Leo’s bright green eyes pierce mine and my chest hurts a bit more at the sight of his tears.
