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“Crying?” It’s all I can say because the dryness in my throat makes it painful to get anymore words out.
“I thought I’d lost you too.” His forehead touches mine until the tips of our noses touch.
“Why, silly?”
Shaking his head, he pulls back and looks across me before he starts to get up.
“No.” I’m trying to grab him, but my arms are still so heavy that it takes me a while to loosen them.
“It’s okay,” Mum leans down, stroking my cheek at the same time as Leo says, “We need to call the doctor.”
It’s only then that I look around and realise that I have no idea where I am. My heavy body and the strange room. The machines…his tears and her worry…the smell, I recognise the smell of bleach and all things sterile.
My throat begins to swell with my unfurling panic, and it doesn’t matter that I don’t feel anything but safe—my chest hurts so bad like it’s been ripped apart.
My hand slams on the red alarm button even before I’ve taken a proper look at Cassie. She’s crying and thrashing, looking around as she manically claws at her chest.
The first thing that goes through my head is that there’s something really fucking wrong and help isn’t coming quick enough. I don’t know what to do. Penny is panicking as she runs out of the room to find someone.
Cassie’s hair is getting tangled over her face as she flails, and her skin is flushing with her panic.
“Cassie, shhhh…” Sliding my arm under her back, I pull her to me so that she’s leaning on my chest. I know I shouldn’t move her like this, but my desperation has gotten to the point where I can’t control my yearning for her. “It’s okay, baby, you’re okay.”
I chant on repeat, trying to settle her. But she’s disoriented and scared.
Her sweat seeps through her hospital gown as she heaves in my arms and I am so grateful that she’s awake that I can’t control my own breathing. My eyes are stinging and all I can do is hold her tighter and closer.
All I can do is brush her hair back and kiss her forehead as she cries into my chest and I cry into her hair.
The doctor and the nurses fill the room, but they’re too late. I’ve got her and I’m not letting her go for shit. They’ll have to pry her from my cold, dead arms.
“Leo…” Penny squeezes my shoulder; I know she’s asking me to let go. To step back and let the doctor take over, but my relief is possessive of her. I can’t let go. I’m too scared.
“They need to check her over.” Leaning closer, she murmurs into my ear with another solid squeeze.
“No.” Cassie rasps, as I pull away hesitantly. Her voice is hoarse and sounds sore. Just as her body feels limp and heavy in my arms.
“I’ll be right here, beautiful girl.” Brushing her hair, I tilt her face up so I can look at her warm eyes. “Give me your hand.”
When she lies back, I take her hand as I sit in the chair beside the bed. Penny paces by the door, her eyes never leaving Cassie as she calls Francis.
By the time the room clears, Cassie is falling asleep. Her hand is still tightly grasping mine, Kit’s crucifix dangling on her wrist…
Thank you.
I don’t know who I’m thanking…God, Kit, maybe both? I don’t know. All I know is that I’m beyond grateful, and that I’m never letting go.
Chapter 41
Cassandra
One month later
The day is so still, there’s no breeze running through the enclosed cove below Heavers Hall. The small, private stretch of grey sandy beach is perfect. Picking up a small piece of driftwood, I wave it in the air between Toby and me. His eyes wide as he follows it, we’ve been playing this game for the last half hour.
“Go!” Throwing the stick as far as I can, I have to hide the grimace that pinches my face as my side protests with the strain of my movement. If Leo sees me so much as flinch, he’ll have us packed up and heading back to the house before I can tell him I’m okay.
“Come on, silly, bring it back!” Toby drops the stick and when a shallow wave starts to sweep it away, he pounces on it. Biting down on it, he shakes it around before deciding to bring it back to me. “Good boy!”
