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A louder knock sounds at the door, bursting our bubble.
“Casper, we need to talk.” Leo’s voice comes from the other side of the door. “We have a problem.”
“Good morning to you too, arsehole,” Casper grumbles as we both get up.
When I try to take G
race from him, he shoos me into the bathroom as he heads for the door, stepping outside to talk to Leo.
I probably should start getting showered. My hair isn’t exactly looking amazing. Instead I fuss around, collecting the two bottles from last night and dropping them in the sink before I crack the windows a tad to air the room like Casper normally does.
I pull the covers haphazardly up, knowing that he’ll pull them all off and make the bed to his meticulous standards. He’s fucking weird like that. Even if it’s down to his military training.
Excitement starts to knot my tummy, butterflies fluttering inside me. All because of the dress bag hanging on the front of the wardrobe beside Casper’s suit. It’s simple. Black with an impeccable cut that has great lines even on the hanger.
I pull his ring from my finger and put it in the envelope with the note I wrote last night. The door cracks open while I’m slipping it into the inside pocket of his jacket, the one I know he’ll put his lighter and smokes in.
All I hear as I jump down from the short wooden stool is Casper’s gritted “Fix it!”
I run into the bathroom and turn the shower before I start rinsing out the bottles so he doesn’t wonder what the fuck I’ve been doing whilst he was handling whatever shit’s happened now.
“Everything all right?” I ask when he comes into the bathroom nude with a very happy, naked Grace tucked into his chest.
God, the sight is so perfect that I wish I could take a photo. All that muscle and inked skin wrapped around our little girl…it’s enough to get me all worked up.
Who thought that sight would be the best form of porn?
“It will be.” He walks into the shower, testing the water with his back before exposing Grace to it.
I watch them in the mirror, smiling like a goofy idiot at the sight of them. Grace practically falls asleep while he massages the baby wash over her back and bottom, then gently cleans her hair before getting right into her neck because she’s a dribbler when she drinks.
Best motherfucking porn I’ve ever seen, and it’s really sad that there’s nothing I can do to scratch the itch. I’m so fucking horny that it doesn’t matter how tired I am from the sleepless nights, I would let him fuck me to within an inch of my life right now.
“Do you need me to mop up that drool for you?” He grins, stepping out of the shower to hand her to me.
“Apparently daddy dick does it for me.” I shrug, wrapping Grace up in a towel as he goes back to washing himself.
I miss Mum the most today. I didn’t give this day much thought after she was gone, and in the last weeks there was too much going on for me to truly feel her absence. However, today, after the conversation Casper and I had this morning, she’s all I can think about. If she were still here, I’d ask her to do it. To walk me down the aisle.
She’s not though, and while I have a moment of peace, I sit at the small desk, staring at the jewellery box I’ve looked at each day. The one I’ve avoided opening or even taking the time to look at what’s inside it. I do it now.
It doesn’t take long for my emotions to get the best of me. Maybe it’s why I was avoiding all this. I knew it would reopen my plastered-over wound. There isn’t anything out of this world in it. A small baby bracelet with flower pendants of every kind. Apart from one. It looks like a cat or a lion cub. It’s cute.
There are some pretty earrings that I put to the side. Maybe I can wear them today. They’re a little heavy, but they’re beautiful with the small rose stud and teardrop diamond.
I’m about to get a handle on my emotions when there’s a low knock at the door. It’s probably Cassie or Arabella coming to help me get ready.
“Come in,” I tell them.
Taking the second of hesitance, I stand and tighten my robe, heading to the bathroom quickly to wash my face because my eyes feel super puffy.
I’m not in the bathroom for long, but long enough that when I come out, Lucian’s standing over the desk. He’s got the small bracelet threaded over three of his fingers. He’s thumbing the charms like Casper thumbs the beads on his rosary.
“We picked out a charm together every year for your birthday.” He looks up at me with a sad smile. “Grace will be gutted she can’t be here today.”
I itch my nose hoping that it’s enough to distract me from the sting of fresh tears. “So am I.”
“She would be exceptionally happy. And it won’t mean much coming from me, but we’re so proud. It seems only yesterday you were as small as Grace and your mother was freaking out about how she was going to raise another person.”
