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“Yes, he used to say you’re dangerous and that you need to be controlled.” Stare flitting between each of my eyes, she sucks in a ragged breath. “I think you should fuck the control.”
A chuckle pushes out of me. She doesn’t know what she’s saying.
“I think you should fuck me.”
Her half-lidded gaze levels on mine as she drags her bottom lip into her mouth and sucks on it audibly before dragging it out between her teeth.
“I think you should fuck up this whole world for everything it’s done. I hate it. I hate it more than I can bear.”
Her words darken her gaze, and I feel it pull at the devil inside. I feel the darkness twist and twist at my insides until my teeth are grinding with the same disdain shadowing her eyes.
“If anything, or anyone, touches you, I won’t fuck anything up, I’ll fucking torch the whole motherfucking universe.”
“Yeah, soldier?” Her fingertips press to my cheeks as her breaths ghost over my lips.
“Yeah, Trouble.”
I put her down on her feet, helping her steady herself before I take her hand and start walking her to the rendezvous I set with Cameron.
Chapter 10
FLEUR
“Fiona, we still have no confirmation on who is to take over as foreign secretary after Charles Winterbourne stepped down in December. And as we’ve come to the end of a turbulent year, we hope that this new year is the beginning of something new and hopeful for our country.” The reporter is standing outside Number 10, and the news presenter taking up the other half of the screen has an image of our family home in the background. It makes my chest tighten with homesickness.
Stupid tears blur my vision as I think of Cassie and Penny, and I wonder what would’ve happened had I returned with Arabella.
I miss my home and people we left behind. And even knowing Christopher is part of the reason why we’re hiding, I miss him too much.
I keep watching the news in the hope that something will come up. Someone will find my father, and all this will be over. As much as I hate the thought of anything happening to him, I know that the minute he’s found, I’m safe. My daughter is safe.
Besides, he had a hand in all this. He wasn’t thinking of me when he decided to betray his friends, colleagues, and country.
“Selfish man…” The whisper pushes out of me with a lost breath. “Why did you do it?”
The TV turns off while I’m in my question-filled trance. All I can see is Casper’s shadow over me.
“You’re not going to learn anything you don’t already know,” he tells me, holding up the remote.
“If they find him…” I pause when he stands in front of me, his hands reaching for mine.
“Come on.” He nods towards the front door.
“I don’t want to go anywhere.” I groan even as I take his hands and pull myself up. “If they find him, then they won’t want me, and we’ll all be safe.”
He gives me that soft, piteous smile that tells me it’s not as simple as that.
“I haven’t done anything wrong. She hasn’t done anything wrong.” My watery eyes sting as I try as hard as I can not to fall apart again. It’s getting so hard to hold myself together with every day that passes. I’m anxious about everything, and the thought of giving birth is consuming me. “Casper…I can’t…I-I—I’m tired.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.”
“You can’t sit here until the baby is born. You’ll go stir-crazy.” Walking me to the door, he takes my coat from the hook. His spare, because mine doesn’t do up anymore.
“I was already crazy before any of this happened.”
“True.” He helps me get my wellies on before getting his own boots and coat on, and like we’ve been doing every evening this last week, he walks me through the muddy path to the woods.
