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His hair smells like a mixture of the outdoors and cotton candy. Something on his fingers is definitely sticky against my neck. He hugs me like he wants to choke me to death, and I wouldn’t change anything about him. I love him. “Good night, Reed.”
“Good night, Cooper.” It guts me just a little to hear that name instead of another. But I’ll take what I can get to be in his life.
41
Cooper
“When can we schedule our next playdate?” I ask, sending her a little wink as we stand awkwardly on the front stoop. “I haven’t been to the zoo since I was little. Patrice would take me with her kids at least once a year.”
“Patrice,” she says, the name coming out as a happy memory. “She was lovely. How is she?”
I take a step down, then lean against the railing. I could spend all night out here talking with her, catching up and reminiscing. “Good. I don’t see her much, but since she no longer works for my family, I spent last Christmas with her family.”
A soft smile comes, and I’m beginning to detect a devious side to Story. I approve when it comes to my family. Story says, “I could see how much she cared about you. She’ll love Reed.”
“She would.” The thought of introducing Reed as my son to people in my life isn’t something I’d given myself permission to dream about. There aren’t many, but Patrice is one of them, if not at the top of the list. Anytime her family was going on an adventure—the beach, the zoo, Coney Island—she’d add me to her brood. She’s the only saving grace I had as a kid until I became too difficult to handle as a teen. “Maybe we can take him together to meet her?”
“That’d be nice.”
It’s not a date on the calendar, but I’ll take the positive reaction. Some things take time, and I’m not sure Story and I should rush any changes in Reed’s life. I’m not looking for an upheaval, but more of a slow adjustment where it’s normal for me to be around. And then one day, maybe that name change.
Rocking back on her heels, she asks, “So, the zoo?” She nudges me with her elbow. “I bet you’re excited about that.” The sarcasm is duly noted.
Sliding my hands into my front pockets, I look at Story. Us in our matching alma mater T-shirts, both a little older, but God, she’s still so beautiful. I think life has been harder on us, making us detour when we would have preferred a straight shot. But slowly and steadily, I’m starting to think we’re getting back on the same track. At least, I hope we are. “Everything with the two of you is exciting to me.”
She looks at me, strands of hair escaping from her ponytail and the streetlamp shining in her eyes. Tilting her head, she asks, “What?” with a modicum of shyness creeping in. “What are you looking at, Cooper?”
I want to kiss her. I want to hold her in my arms again, knowing it’s not just because of some tragedy that forced us together. I want to go to bed with her, even if we didn’t have sex, just for one more chance to wake up with her in my arms and watch the sunrise in her eyes. I remember so much about that morning in May six years ago—brushing our teeth together and kissing in the shower until the water ran cold, coffee and donuts from the gas station as I filled the tank before we headed to Haywood for my graduation party. How she loved me. I could see it in her eyes. I felt it in her touch. My soul knew I’d never survive without hers wrapped around it.
I never got the warning that it was the last time we’d do those things, we’d love that hard, or we’d be us.
I want what we used to have so badly I could shout, but only on one condition. Reed would still be a part of the package. “I just like looking at you, babe.”
She blushes, tucking her hair behind her ear, not caring that I slipped in the name at the end like it’s another time, another opportunity for us.
The front door opens, and we startle apart like we were busted doing something we shouldn’t. Lila looks at us and shakes her head. “We’re going to bed,” she announces, then points at me. “You’re going to make sure this one . . .” She nods to Story. “Gets home safely.”
Story checks her watch. “What do you mean, you’re going to bed? It’s eight o’clock.”
“Jake’s already reading, Reed’s asleep, and yeah, Lou and I are heading upstairs. But us going to bed doesn’t mean you have to.” She waggles her eyebrows. “Take this as an opportunity to go out and have some fun.” She shrugs. “Or stay in, just not here.” She tosses Story her purse. “I’ll get Reed to school in the morning. Have fun, you two.”
