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He shook his head and opened the door. “I’ll pick it up another time,” he said without looking back, then stepped outside, letting the screen door slam behind him. I didn’t watch him leave. I felt sick to my stomach and closed the door behind him. I had messed that up terribly and I needed to fix it, but all I could do was tell the truth. He wanted the truth. The problem was, the truth wasn’t going to make him feel any better.

JULY 3, 2020 Get. In. The. Truck. Asa.

CHAPTER 17

ASA

“You invited Ezmita to the Fourth party down at the lake yet?” Nash asked from the kitchen as he poured his third bowl of cereal for the day.

“Nope,” I replied. I wasn’t inviting her either. She was dating Brett. I was letting it go. Yes, I’d had a great time with her, but she was one girl. There were millions more out there. There may not ever be another like Ezmita, though. That thought bothered me.

“You’re being a dumbass,” he said, then shoved a spoonful of sugary shit into his mouth.

I ignored him and continued to watch ESPN in hopes of some predictions about football season. They knew about as much as anyone else. Nothing. No one knew anything. Dammit.

“Tallulah likes her,” he continued.

“Then maybe Tallulah can ask her out,” I replied.

“What’s wrong with you? You like her. I saw it when she was here. She fits in. She fits you. She’s fucking awesome at Madden. She took down Gunner.”

“I was there. I remember.” I didn’t need a fucking reminder of what I was missing out on. I’d had a weak moment and gone to her house, and she’d been there with a guy who was safe. One who liked her and was at her house. He wasn’t scared to like her too much. He probably already did. I liked her enough to let her have that. I wasn’t someone that was going to date one girl. I wasn’t a Brett Darby. She needed a Brett Darby.

As much as I liked Ezmita, I wasn’t a guy who knew how to be in a relationship. The one I’d witnessed my entire life had been fucked up. My parents made me terrified to ever trust someone or feel deeply about them. If love could make you stay even when the person who was supposed to love you beat the hell out of you, then I didn’t want it. I was much better loving them all and not just one. Less dangerous.

“Fine. Then who are you bringing?” he asked as if this was important.

We were going to grill burgers and swim in the lake. It didn’t require I bring a date. Although, I’d already thought about calling Bex and asking her if she’d like to come. It had been long enough since I’d talked to her that she wouldn’t read anything into it. Besides, she’d look good in a bikini.

“Doubt I bring anyone,” I told him. If I said I was inviting Bex, I’d likely get a lecture on why Ezmita was a better option. She’d won them all over beating Gunner. I wasn’t going to hear the last of it.

“I could always invite Ezmita and Brett,” Nash suggested with a smirk on his face.

I cut my eyes at him, unamused. “Funny.”

He laughed then. “I thought it was.”

The door opened behind me, and Nash turned his attention away from me. “Hey,” he said, but didn’t jump up. It wasn’t Tallulah. That much I knew.

“Your girlfriend stole mine for the day,” Ryker said.

“So you came here because?” Nash asked his cousin.

“I have nothing else to do.”

Nash shrugged. “Get a job,” he suggested.

“You get a job,” Ryker shot back. “Your job is on hold right now. You can’t coach a football team if there is no football team to coach.”

I stretched and stood up. “Sorry I can’t stay here and listen to the two of you argue, but I in fact do have a job and I need to go get ready.”

“Where are you working?” Ryker asked.

“He got a job working at the lumberyard,” Nash answered for me.

“For ole man Blankenship? He’s a mean son of a bitch,” Ryker informed me as if I hadn’t lived here my entire life too.

“He pays me cash,” I explained, and Ryker nodded.

“Maybe I should go try and get a job with him,” he then said.

Nash laughed out loud. “You’d get fired after the first day.”

I left the two of them to bicker and went to get ready for work. Ryker was right, John Blankenship was a hard-ass, and being late wasn’t something I wanted to test with him. He was paying me fifteen dollars an hour cash, and I was doing the shittiest jobs he had without complaint. I needed to earn my keep and pay Nash’s folks something for letting me stay there this summer, and I needed to buy a truck I could afford. My dad hadn’t come to take mine back yet, but I wasn’t sure how long my mother could keep that from happening. Neither of them had tried to contact me, but they both knew I was staying at Nash’s.

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