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“You hoping the fucker dies?” he asked, looking a little bothered by that idea.
I didn’t respond right away. I didn’t know how to answer that. Finally I said, “I just hope he doesn’t get my momma sick.”
Nash sighed then and rubbed his jawline as if thinking about that. “Yeah, me too, bro.”
I glanced at my phone and thought about sending my momma a text. Just to check in on her, but then I remembered she’d called Nash’s mom and hadn’t contacted me. She could have just as easily called me. Calling Nash’s mom was a way of her telling me she didn’t want me around. It hurt. No, it fucking stung like a bitch. She was my momma, dammit. She was supposed to love me. She was supposed to stand beside me no matter what.
“You want to go get some biscuits?” Nash asked, breaking into my thoughts. I didn’t want to think about this anymore. I wanted to go see Ezmita. I wanted to enjoy being around her. I wanted the feeling that came with being near her. She made me forget the shit in my life. I needed her more than I should, but at least I had an escape from the pain. She was my escape. I wasn’t sure how leaving her was going to work out.
“Yeah, I do,” I told Nash, and stood up.
“You okay?” he asked as we headed for the door.
I started to say sure, I was fine, but lying about shit was getting more difficult. I didn’t want to have to lie about my life. My feelings. I’d been forced to do that most of my life. Being away from Lawton had finally given me the freedom to tell the truth. My mother’s family hated my father. It had been easy stating the facts around them.
“I’m not sure, but I’ll be fine later,” I replied. I’d be with Ezmita later and she made everything better. She was more than a distraction. She was sunshine and warmth. She made me glad I didn’t jump off that damn bridge. She was going to be hell to leave behind. I pushed that thought away. Right now, I wasn’t thinking about that. We had a few more weeks. If things didn’t get changed again.
“You should call your mom,” Nash said.
“No, she can call me if she wants to talk. She’s calling your mom, which means she doesn’t want to talk to me.”
Nash sighed. “She’s your mom, though. She’s got to want to talk to you.”
He had no idea what life outside his perfect world was like. “You would think so…,” I replied, and left it at that. I’d never make him understand something I struggled to understand myself.
Maybe She Needs You to Make the First Move CHAPTER 28
EZMITA
The dirt road seemed to lead to nowhere, so when the trees cleared and the lake appeared in front of us, I was surprised. I hadn’t been expecting this. It was as hidden as their field was, where no one was having parties anymore but had once been the spot the locals knew the kids went to. Was this their new place? I understood no one wanting to go to the field after what happened to Hunter there.
“We should have this place to ourselves today. The guys are at the field house, and the girls either went to church with their mommas or they’ve gone shopping in Nashville.”
I’d never been to Nashville. That sounded like an exotic place even though it wasn’t that far from Lawton. “Is everyone always that predictable?” I asked him, intrigued that he knew where they all were.
He laughed then and shrugged. “Hell if I know. Living with Nash keeps me informed.”
Asa had seemed distracted since he picked me up. I wanted to believe it was nothing and I was being sensitive because a part of me had thought he might not even show up today. I had been halfway prepared for him to call and cancel. Worse, to text and cancel. When he hadn’t done either by one o’clock, I felt it was safe enough to put on my bathing suit and outfit for our date.
Asa parked the truck to the left of a large oak tree, then looked at me. “You good?” he asked as if I had been the one acting off on our ride over here.
I nodded. “I’m fine… are you?” I asked him.
I expected him to say he was, but he didn’t say anything at first. He studied me a moment, then sighed heavily and shrugged. “Not sure,” he replied. “My father has Covid. My mom is staying in the house with him. She called and told Nash’s mom, not me.”
Oh. I knew he didn’t care for his father and I didn’t blame him, but his mother not contacting him had to hurt. “Are you worried about her?” I asked him, wanting to tell him to just call her already.
