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When we’re alone in the room, Eva says, “I want to take a bath.”
I nod and head for the bathroom to start the water. Closing my eyes, I take a steadying breath. I could’ve been late. Thank God, I wasn’t, but what could’ve been is enough to make me insane. I grip the bathtub, trying to control my panic, fear, and anger.
My mind is a mess. I wonder if I’m like that fucker who tries to take advantage of a teenager. Remembering how scared Eva looked when I barged into the office, I shudder.
God… am I any better? What if after what happened she thinks I’m just as bad as him?
“Elijah,” Eva whispers behind me, but I can’t turn my head to her. I’m afraid to scare her with the rage, guilt, and insecurities I’m sure my face carry. I feel her getting closer to me, but I busy myself with setting the temperature of the water.
When her hand rests on my back, the breath I’ve been holding escapes from me in a whoosh. Facing her, I study her face. Tears dried on her cheeks, her lips are trembling, it’s her eyes that slice me open. They’re scared but also hopeful, looking at me like I have the power to make everything right in her life.
The weight in my chest lifts a little.
God, I love this girl.
26
Eva
He takes my face in his hands and places a kiss to my forehead, before leaning back to look at me with the same tentativeness he's been doing since we left headmaster's office.
“I’ll give you a bath, okay?” he asks hesitantly.
And I swallow. I was shaken on the drive home from school. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry when Jake left us alone in the guesthouse. I felt weak and scared, but seeing him treating me that way hurt and scared me so much more than that disgusting piece of shit could ever do.
His hands shake as he slowly unbuttons my shirt. With every movement he does, he searches my face, for what I don’t know. Before peeling the shirt off my shoulders, he looks at me again, like asking for permission.
That’s when something snaps.
I couldn’t take it.
Grabbing his hand, I place it over my bra covered breast.
"Don't," I say, and when he tries to pull his hand back, I press my hand over his even harder. His hand palms my tit as a reflex. He looks at me panicked like he's afraid of my reaction. I like his touch, even right after another man's touch made me want to gag and clean my skin with bleach.
“Don’t be hesitant to touch me,” I whisper.
His eyes widen with my words. "Baby, I'm just worried about doing something that would make you uncomfortable."
“You’re doing it. You don’t touch me freely like… like I’m contaminated.” My voice shakes. Even though I know he’s trying to make me feel comfortable, I can’t help but feel that way.
"What?" he breathes out and pulls me closer to him. Lifting my chin up, he makes me look at him before whispering, "I was afraid of you being scared of me."
What? I shake my head at his incredulous thought.
“You saved me. Why would I be scared of you? And… you’re the only one who can make me forget that man ever came near me.”
With that, his eyes get the fire I love so much back in them. Leaning down, he captures my lips with a soft kiss. And I melt in his arms, the fear, worry, and sadness evaporate like nothing.
He continues taking off my clothes. This time without hesitance.
When I get into the bathtub, he gently rubs my skin with the sponge. Every stroke, every touch of water makes me feel better, but the real cleansing comes from his hands on me.
I let him bathe and dry me, taking pleasure from his caring way.
I get inside the bed with a towel wrapped around me and watch him as he takes off his t-shirt and jeans to join me. Peace washes over me as I lay my head on his chest.
That’s when I’m sure of the feelings I have for him without a doubt.
