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My ears started to hum. It was like there was a fight in my mind. I couldn’t breathe easily, my lungs were on fire. The wheezing sound was heard but I didn’t know if I was the one who made it. My lungs kept contracting and I was in panic. It felt like dying.
Putting my hand on my throat I tried to remove the invisible collar. The pain my nails caused on my sensitive flesh made me gasp for air. The small pain cleared my mind just for a second, but the delirious need pulled me back by the chains around my neck.
“Mike,” I tried to whisper. I wasn’t sure if he heard me, the humming in my ears made it impossible for me to hear.
Where was he anyway?
I tried to focus on my surroundings to be sure that he didn’t put me back in that room.
Thank Goodness, I was still in his room.
But… where was he? Why did he leave me alone?
I was dying and it wasn’t a peaceful sleep. It was a nightmare.
“MIKE!” My scream shook my body. I put all my strength in it. When I heard the hard thud of the door I was heaving to fill my lungs with air.
“Angel?” He ran toward me and wrapped me in his arms.
“Stop this…please, Mike… I… can’t.” I dug my nails into his arms. “Make it stop, please. Just stop this.”
“Shh, I’ve got you. Focus on my breaths, time your own with mine,” he whispered in my ear, caressing my hair soothingly. “That’s it. My good girl, keep doing it.”
When my breathing turned back to normal, I noticed his fingers on my skin. His hold on me was tight, almost painful. His lips moved from my ear to my neck, sucking and nibbling my skin. I was still shaking, my insides were still clenching with the hunger I felt. I was desperate, needy, agitated.
“Please, I need the shot. I want it. Please,” I started to beg him, but my voice trailed off when he fisted my hair and pulled my head back. “Stand up, Angel,” he growled to my ear. I didn’t protest nor didn’t have the strength to as he walked me toward the wall, placing my hands on the cold concrete. “I’ll hurt you so good you won’t need the numbness of the drug. You’ll want the pain I give you.”
“Mike, please… just one shot, just once-” My whine turned into scream when a pain erupted on my back. It stroke like a lightning on my mind, blinding me and the hunger that was consuming my body.
“Focus on the pain, focus on me. Let your mind wander to the happy place only the pain can give you.” Mike’s voice was ragged and excited at the same time. It sent a thrill through my spine.
Another strike of the leather met with my skin and I screamed again. It was good to scream, I felt like my lungs opened and sucked all of the air, causing a short tempered dizziness to take over my mind like I was drunk or high.
The third strike pushed me higher.
The fourth pushed me over an invisible line.
The fifth wasn’t even painful.
The following touch of the leather was like a caress on my skin, soothing and freeing. My pain, my frustration, my sorrow, and all filthy things that covered my soul leaked through my eyes with my tears.
By the time he was done I was in a state of euphoria. It was intense, tiring but cleansing at the same time. I sighed dreamily when his arms came around me, protecting me from everything and giving me the comfort I needed.
At that instant I felt like my heart cracked open and reached for him.
That moment I felt like I gave my heart to his hands and I didn’t even felt terrified by that idea. I trusted him with my body, with my life, and with my heart as he molded my soul the way he wanted it.
And I didn’t care about anything else but the soothing whisper of his breath in my ear and the cleansing touch of his filthy lips on my neck as my soul cried blood through the scars he opened on my back.
He was breaking me like he broke my skin and I was being born through my blood.
MIKE –Nat’s captive: Day 5
Nat’s body is red, covered in blood. She can’t even cry anymore and her screams are long gone. She is too tired and too much in pain to do anything else but lay there, shaking, and take whatever I do to her.
I gave her some water and bread, though; I’m not that heartless.
“Please, kill me.” I hear her say.
