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“I should have, right?” I snorted.
“There is no should or shouldn’t in here, Angel. I’m just curious about your thoughts, your reaction,” CC told me with a professional smile.
I stood up from my chair, walking toward the window. My back was to her, but I could feel her piercing blue eyes on me.
“Don’t worry about the rights or wrongs, Angel. Only you are important and only your thoughts matter,” she told me with her calm voice.
“Well, then… no, I have never felt that way. I always missed him, I always wanted him…and when I got him I only wanted more.”
April 2, 2014–MIKE
I whistled a tune as I passed her room. She’d been in that room, tied to the bed, for five days and every day I came into the room for her breakfast and dinner she was crying, asking for my forgiveness. She was so close to how I wanted her to be.
“Mike, please… I’m sorry. Please don’t let me stay here longer. Please, Mike. I missed you.” She was screaming the same things over and over again.
I chuckled to myself.
She thought I was angry at her. She had no idea she walked right into my trap, that she was just where I wanted her to be, that doing just what I expect her to do.
Had she really thought I would leave that file on my desk where she could easily find and read? Had she really thought I would leave my office door unlocked so she could freely snoop?
I wanted her to see that file. I wanted her to read it and see what I could do to her.
It was my way of introducing the monster to her.
I wanted her to see my darkness and face it.
Because I wanted her whole existence with the sweet surrender. Because I wanted to be her love, her devotion, her addiction, her secret, and her drug.
And you can’t truly love someone before accepting their darkness.
And you can’t wholly surrender yourself to someone before facing with their demons.
Angel did all those things.
She saw my darkness and accepted it, wanted it even.
She faced my demons and learned to love them.
Angel surrendered herself to me with her heart on her sleeve… and with that she became truly mine.
April 4, 2014–MIKE: Becoming His
A pain shot through my insides. I hated this time of the month. My period cramps were tough a few times in the year, and this was one of those unlucky times. Mike took care of me the first two days. I didn’t even get shy on him anymore, but he refused to let me go or untie me. Thankfully my period lasts only three days and this was the last day. I couldn’t take more than three days of these painful times.
I heard the noise of the key and sighed in relief. Feeling the west sponge on my skin as he cleaned me was the best time of my captive in this room.
The look on his face was softer when he came into the room than the other days. I checked him out, let my eyes roam over his body. Having his body every day was something I grown used to and something I grown loved to during the time I was with him. And spending a week without his touch, his thrust, his kiss, and his bites I craved him.
I licked my lips when I saw his hungry gaze and the growing bulge in front of his jeans.
“Let’s clean you up,” he told me. His voice was softer, too.
He sat next to me on the bed and leaned down to untie the ropes around my wrists. He had never untied me since he put me in this room I couldn’t help feeling hopeful. He brought his hands to my wrists and rubbed them gently before moving them to my shoulders. I moaned with the sweet sensation of his hands on my skin.
“Feels good?” he asked. His voice was amused.
“Yes. Thank you, Mike,” I whispered, sitting up so I could get closer to him. His eyes fell to my breasts and his hands became rougher on my skin with the hunger I knew so well. I welcomed it; actually I craved that hunger and moaned again with need.
