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I was sitting between his knees as he worked on his computer; he was in an extremely good mood today. He called me “my love” even.
I touched the word that was written on my flesh. That day changed everything between us. He looked at me like I was so precious for him after that and he occasionally caressed that word with pride shone in his eyes. And each passing day I accepted him into my mind, my body, a
nd my heart more willingly till I became the one who aches for him at the end.
I felt his hand reached for my collarbone again and he caressed my skin again before lifting my chin so I could look at him.
“Bored?”
“No, I like being with you when you work,” I whispered.
Patting his knee, he said, “Come here.”
There was no hesitance as I got up to sit on his knee, but he shook his head, “No, straddle me.” I gasped in shock. He had never let me do that, never let me take charge, and I couldn’t keep the smile off of my face.
Pushing my hair back off my forehead, he fisted my hair, but he kept the hold loose opposite of his dominant hold. “One year, my Angel,” he whispered.
“What?”
“It has been one year since I first tasted you,” he told me, leaning down so he could graze his lips against mine.
“Is it New Year today?!”
“Yes,” he smiled. I loved his smile, every time that smile turned the monster into something vulnerable.
My eyes watered when the realization hit me. It was one fucking year yet no one came to look for me and after awhile I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be found; I got accustomed to this life, morphed to be happy here and I was happy even though my former life was nothing but a memory.
“Today is special, today is your day, baby. What do you want?” he asked, taking me back to the present and I was grateful; the depth of my mind wasn’t somewhere I wanted to visit very often.
I had one day… what did I want?
I bit my bottom lip, trying to come up with an answer, but I was too used to be ordered around I didn’t know how to decide anything for myself.
“Are there any options?” I asked timidly.
He chuckled and caressed my hair like he knew what I was thinking. “First you need to decide what you want to eat. Then I will let you choose a movie so we can watch. And finally, the bed.” He smirked at me.
I smiled at the idea of eating Dawn’s and my favorite food, I answered him, “I want meatballs and pasta.”
“Okay, but you’ll cook. I’m not good at meatballs,” he says, winking at me.
Damn, I can get used to this side of him.
I was excited to spend the day with him and grateful that he cared for our anniversary enough to give me a gift like that even though our relationship wasn’t in the normal standards. It was our normal and our life now whether I liked it or not.
And I was choosing to like it… like it enough to not want an out from it.
*****
“Will you tell me about those women?” I whispered as we sat on the couch in front of the television.
Frowning he turned to me. “Which women?”
“The women on the file I found… the women…” I trailed off, but he finished my train of thoughts, “The women I killed?” he asked with deadly calm.
“Yes,” I breathed out. “What did they do to you? What happened to you, Mike?”
He looked at me without saying anything, looking for something in my gaze and no matter how much I wanted to take away my eyes from his prodding ones I held my ground. Seconds passed by and he didn’t give me any answers. I gave up from all the hopes for an answer when he turned his face back to the black television screen.
